AMERICAN DREAM

CAST:

JOSHUA: old, skinny, ascetic emigrant from Russia.

PETER: 20–30 old American man.

Time: Current, night.

Place:

Small one room hut in the woods. No path. The setting could be real, supernatural or a dream but we will never know one way or the other. A dim light shows in the window.

Peter approaches the light. The hut appears. He knocks on the door. No answer. He first tries then, opens the door. Inside the hut are a table and two chairs on a rug. A lamp. An electrical receptacle.

PETER (standing in the doorway): Hello!.. anybody home?… Can I come in?

Peter peers into the dimly lit hut. A person is sitting and writing at a table.

PETER: Can I come in? Are you OK? Why don’t you answer?

JOSH: I’m busy!

PETER: Can I….?

JOSH: You all ready have!

PETER: Damn! I’m tired…(on the table are a pitcher of water and two glasses) Can I have a drink?

JOSH: Please.

(He pours a glass of water, and hands it to Peter )

PETER: Thanks! Why so dark? OK if I turn on the light?

JOSH: It’s fine for me… Everything is clear enough.

PETER: I’m Peter… parked out on the highway. Phone is dead. Lucky I could see your light from the road. Do you have a phone?

JOSH: What do you need a phone?

PETER: I’m out of gas. Need to call AAA.

JOSH: I don’t have one.

PETER: How can you live without a phone? OK if I recharge mine?

JOSH: Go ahead.

(Peter fiddles with his phone and charger and plugs them in)

PETER: What’re you so busy with?

JOSH: I’m writing something. I have to be careful not to be pedantic…. Would you like to help me while you wait?

PETER: OK, but I have to get home. I have to be at work early.

JOSH: Where have you been?

PETER: Tides Beach, windsurfing.

JOSH: Did you have fun?

PETER (starts to unplug his phone): I don’t have time for discussions. I’ll go out and stop somebody for a lift or for a phone.

JOSH: Cars don’t stop here at night!

PETER (plugging the phone back in): How do you know? Have you tried to stop cars?

(Pause)

JOSH: Come here, please glance at what I wrote.

(Pause)

PETER (approaches): Too dark. I can’t make any thing out.

JOSH: Turn on the light.

(Peter obeys. The room fills with light. Joshua tips a page up. )

Can you make it out now?

PETER (studies): Sorry, I can’t understand your writing.

JOSH (sighs): I suppose so….It’s my business…I’m writing a philosophy tract…and toward the end I bump into contradictions. I need to take a different view.

PETER: How can I help? I’m just normal computer programmer. You want me to understand philosophy?

JOSH: You may be just the person I need. Describe “The American Dream”.

(Pause)

PETER: Ah…It does exist, but not exactly.. It’s sort of gut feeling that every body has.

JOSH: Good…. Now, what is the dream for you,…. Peter?

PETER: Why me?

JOSH: I’m just curious.

PETER: I want to be happy.

JOSH: Go on….more concretely?

PETER: I want friends, a family, some children, and a house in a good neighborhood.

JOSH: All the while you feel that you could possibly be a millionaire?

PETER: Earlier maybe, but now I see it will take a long time.

JOSH: Do you have a wife?

PETER: Girl friend…

JOSH: Why aren’t you married?

PETER: Because to be married you need a good income.

JOSH: So, your dream needs money! How do you plan to get money?

PETER: Save…work hard! I might have to take some risks in the future. I like my work. I haven’t had a vacation in five years. When I earn enough money to get married my dream will be half there. I probably will have to take some risks in the future if I want to fulfill my dream.

JOSH: You of course, know money can’t buy happiness?

PETER: Money can buy a house!

JOSH: All know that honest work doesn’t always result in prosperity. There are many poor people who strive and never will improve their fate.

PETER: Except for the lazy or impaired, honest work will improve their lot….somewhat… anyway. “A rising tide raises all ships”. But contacts, taking risks, and hard work are better rewarded.

JOSH: Don’t forget goals, luck, intelligence, education, fathers money…..

PETER: You sit alone in this dark corner and know America? Do you know what Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence?

JOSH: Do you know his words?

PETER: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that are among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

JOSH: A plus!

PETER: Are you a teacher?

JOSH: History… in some way.

PETER: Then you know that in The French Constitution, written at about the same time, “Freedom, Equality, and Brotherhood” side stepped the words “Pursuit of Happiness”.

JOSH: Why do you, Peter, need a family, for your happiness?

PETER: Well, Jefferson wrote that his family was the most beautiful happiness of his life.

JOSH: Why do you harp on “Jefferson”, “Jefferson”?…. his words, his thoughts on family.. Do you know Jefferson was a large plantation owner and a racist?

PETER: Of course he had slaves that was a different time. Over two hundred years so much has changed. You can’t look at his slave holdings with our modern eyes. Besides he changed opinions as he grew older.

JOSH: Yes somewhat, but he always thought the blacks inferior, that slavery should end but blacks and whites could not live together in the same society. He wrote against mixing blood of blacks and whites but he had one definite and maybe more children with his slave Sally Hemings

PETER: What about his wife?

JOSH: His wife died very young, after two children.

PETER: Maybe Sally is just hearsay.

JOSH: Recent DNA tests of descendants of Sally and Jefferson are statistically conclusive.

PETER: Oh!..was Sally pretty? Figure?.. Face? I suppose that Jefferson didn’t think about her blood lines during sex.

JOSH: We think she had straight black hair. She was only one quarter black so she was “brown”. Their son Madison Hemings was essentially “white” but, one eighth black so he still was treated as a slave. He never forgave Jefferson for this. He would ask his mother something like: “ Why did daddy treat his other children different from me?” She would reply “Quiet, quiet…. when we were in Paris he promised to free all my children. Patience, patience”

PETER: Jefferson did as he promised?

JOSH: No….and yes! Only after his death were they freed.

PETER: When did Sally’s and Jefferson’s relationship start? What about his wife?

JOSH: His wife died very young. In Paris when Sally was fourteen years old!

PETER: Fourteen! Yikes!

JOSH: Then young girls were considered women. Madison said later, “…Jefferson took his mother like a concubine”.

PETER: Why do you think that Madison’s statement is important?

JOSH: There is a difference, a concubine…

PETER: How do you know that Jefferson still treated her as a slave?

JOSH: He looked on her that way…

PETER: Why didn’t he give her freedom?

JOSH: I think if he gave her freedom he couldn’t control her and keep her in his house. Once the relationship with Sally begins, he is living in lie.

PETER: Write a book!

JOSH: Jefferson was also duplicitous. In fact he was a “dirty” politician.

PETER: Such a duplicitous President. It reminds me of FDR. Can we explain this type of person?

JOSH: What do you think?

PETER: I find it hard to think that he was just a hypocrite and liar….so then..

JOSH: Continue. “So then”..what….talk, talk.

PETER: You’re the history teacher! Don’t expect so much from me.

JOSH: What I find strange is that Jefferson’s oldest daughter Martha maintained that there was no relationship between her father and Sally. I don’t see how the relationship could not be known to the white members of his family.

PETER: Family secret!

JOSH: I don’t think so. A grandchild of Jefferson, Helen, wrotethat the relationship was impossible! The door to Sally’s room was very public all entering and exiting were in sight of the family.

PETER (bored): How do you think they could meet?

JOSH: He met with her in a secret corner. a corridor, or a storeroom..

PETER: Risky, less fun.

(Josh starts to straighten the rug under the table and chairs. Then he quickly straightens up while kneading his back, and screwing up his face in pain )

JOSH: Please try to straighten the rug.

(Peter starts to straighten the rug. He bends down. Josh slips in Peter’s back. Peter squeezes away, and straightens up with fear)

PETER (shouts): You gay?… Unbelievable!

JOSH (calmly): I wanted to show you how this could happen. It could be over in three or four minutes.

PETER (voice raised, still upset): Maybe you could explain in words. Like they…

JOSH: An easy visual aid. Despite the dangers the relationship continued. He had several children by Sally. I think he expended great effort to keep Sally near him. Who knows, maybe his secret gave rise for the Declaration’s words: “..all men…pursuit their… Happiness.” It’s self deluding and corrosive to excessively pursue happiness. Jefferson even modified his earlier progressive stand against slavery as he grew older and more jaundiced.

PETER: It’s really not important now why he wrote these words. It’s important that these words inspired millions of immigrants to work hard, live better, and make America NUMBER ONE in the world.

JOSH: Well, think, America is not entirely first. It is 49th in literacy, 37th in universal health care, and 41st in child mortality. So where is the American myth?

PETER: Fuck your statistics! He deceived us, and his ideas worked out well at first. But now, it has been carried too far when more efficiency, overtime, and moving families from place to place have become necessary.

JOSH: Your American dream is now riding on the backs of the poor bringing health, education, and riches to only a few. You all ignore a pervasive stink in America.

PETER: Are you “Green Party”?

JOSH: It’s not the worst of all parties in the world, but Lenin had high ideals too. Do you really still believe that if you pursue happiness you can become happy?

PETER: I believe..

JOSH: You will never get there. To pursue “happiness” is the wrong goal. Pursue work that you love, be kind, helpful, and reliable and unexpectedly happiness arrives.

PETER: You are a philosopher. You have time to sit and think of all possibilities. I don’t have time to think about all your fantasies and nobody else has the time..

JOSH: Yes, I have a lot of time. Now are discussions whether or not the “American Dream” is “erosing”. Already most Americans do not believe in the “American Dream” for the future. So I decided to try to analyze our situation and find something that must change. I started to write this tract…

(Peter with hands up demurring, hands saying stop )

PETER: Wrong, wrong! Why are you doing this?

JOSH: I confess that I was trying to raise a few doubts.

PETER: Doubts…?

(Pause)

JOSH: So I’ve seen the seeds of doubt!

PETER: You’re crazy! I was too shy to say at earlier. You were so insistent.

JOSH: So you don’t understand anything!

PETER: Why it’s so important to raise doubts

JOSH: From doubts we think…learn…and act. Columbus doubted that the world was flat.

PETER: Doubts then are your main problem.

(Suddenly Peter’s, now fully charged cell, bursts into the tinkling tones of a summer “Good Humor” ice cream truck (Steven Foster’s “Old Folks at Home”…way down upon the Swanee river…. Or “Home on the Range”. ))

PETER: Finally! Thank God! Excuse me I have to go.

JOSH: One last request!…….We will not talk about the future, but now, current day, are you happy?

(Pause)

PETER: But truthfully I’m too busy to ponder whether I’m happy or not happy!

JOSH: I thought so. You should go now.

(Peter collects his phone and charger and walks to the door where he stops and returns to Josh )

PETER: Maybe I didn’t understand, but before leaving my advice to you is don’t try to change things. Don’t shut your light, get phone… Live and enjoy America!

JOSH (waffling his hand) Good byе! Be happy, if you… Could..

THE END

 

INNER VOICE

CAST:

DOCTOR – psychiatrist. Doctor male. Wearing an expensive suit, and wrist watch very proper, polite, confident, pleasant, and always composed.

ANNA – Woman. Dressed in red dress with red bag. Foreign accent.

PLACE:

Psychiatrist’s office.Sparse Psychiatrist’s office. Ever present small clock standing on a table. The doctor is talking on the telephone eating a sandwich and thumbing thru a magazine. Suddenly a door opens and Anna rushes in.

ANNA: Doctor, I’m Anne Miller. I made an appointment last week..

DOCTOR (looking at а small clocks): You’re unusually early… (to telephone.) No, it’s not to you…

ANNA: Doctor, you must listen to me… now… My inner voice…

DOCTOR: Just a minute, I’m talking on the phone…

ANNA: Doctor, I can’t stand it…

DOCTOR: Wait, wait…(to telephone.) Sorry, Gladys I have to hang up… Yes! I’ll call you later… Bye!

ANNA: Doctor, you must listen to me…

(Doctor puts down the telephone unwillingly.)

DOCTOR: What is it Anna, that brings you in so early? Have you taken your medicine?

ANNA (ignoring Doctor): The TV just said that the scientists have identified the gene that makes people lonely.

Anna comes in, throws her purse on the table so as to obscure the small tablet clock from the doctor’s view and flops down in a chair opposite the doctor.

DOCTOR: Yes.

ANNA: I want the gene therapy medicine.

Doctor smiles pleasantly and turns to Anna.

DOCTOR: Yes, try to relax, what’s the problem?

ANNA: I can’t go out side my house. I’m hurting deep down in my soul, – ‘I feel a desperation. I’m lonely.

DOCTOR: Are you are living alone? Have you called your mother lately?

ANNA (ignore Doctor): Since I came here to the US. I feel so lonely. You can hardly imagine how hard it is to be lonely.

Doctor moves her purse so he can see the small tablet clock.

ANNA: Take that clock away!

DOCTOR: That’s not very polite… Take your purse away…

Anna takes away her purse in such a way that the tablet clock falls on the floor.

ANNA: Doctor… I…, I…

DOCTOR: Very well, go on.

Doctor glances at his wrist watch.

ANNA: My loneliness is special. I’m like the Liberty Statue: I’m standing alone, and life is boiling around me: people fall in love, go to theaters, restaurants, and I have nobody to go out with. Because no one needs me, I feel desperate and very frightened. I think about doing something drastic actions that could end badly for me.

DOCTOR: Now, now,what do you mean?

ANNA: When I see a couple, a man and a woman, walking along the street, holding hands and showing how good they feel together, I hate them, and I don’t know what to do in order not to see them… I even stopped visiting the Zoo.

Doctor: The Zoo…

ANNA: I don’t want to see almost all animals, even the most thorough predators, sharing a cage together… Especially on holidays and Sundays I literally climb up the wall… When I get up, I immediately remember how lonely I am, and all my thoughts are oriented on how to find somebody… Sometimes I can behave unexpectedly, crazy.

DOCTOR: For example? (glancing at his magazine again).

Anna jumps up and throws the magazine away.

ANNA: Enough of your “Playboy”…

DOCTOR: (Defensively) It isn’t “Playboy”. It was…

ANNA: Especially…

Doctor smiles pleasantly and puts his magazine on the floor.

ANNA: For example, when I go out into the street, I find, it easiest to start conversations with men, and then I talk on and on…

DOCTOR: Do they answer?

ANNA: Yes, they do, and we go along together for a while, then we part…

DOCTOR: And then you part… Your behavior can be interpreted in the wrong way.

ANNA: And they interpret… in the wrong way. It happens in different ways.

DOCTOR: You know this behavior is dangerous.

ANNA: Once I was so scared when a passer-by who I was going along with grabbed my hand, clasped it to his chest and begged: «Come with me, darling!» I could hardly escape from him. On the way home my inner voice used foul language:”You’re a fool, coward. Why didn’t you go with him? It would was your chance? Serves you right.» I ran away because the man looked odd. He was holding my hand, but his eyes were roaming, looking, from side to side.

DOCTOR: You’re telling me that you walk in the streets, and, at the same time, you insist that you can’t leave the house. Let’s get closer to your problem.

ANNA: That’s exactly what I’m doing. So, after the divorce with my husband, I moved into a new house, looked around. It turned out, a single man was living just across from my house. So, I settled down in my new house and started watching him thru the window. I even have made up a biography for him.

DOCTOR: I don’t need his biography, get to the point.

ANNA: I’m just getting to it. I sometimes had walks in front of his house in order to attract his attention. I tried to sell him Girl Scout Cookies, I collected for the United Fund, but he ignored me. Finally, I decided to invite him to my place for a cup of tea. Can you imagine the state of my mind?

DOCTOR: Yes, I can. Did he come?

ANNA: Yes, he came, spick and span: a bow tie a sport jacket, flannel pants… Tall, handsome – I could hardly stand on my feet. He told me that his name was Joe. I was so excited that couldn’t even say to him: “Joe come in, be seated». The words stuck in my throat. He came into the living room, anyhow, sat on the sofa next to me, and started talking. First he spoke about the weather, then passed over to his dog. Then little by little Joe told me about his travels, how many countries he had been to, what he had seen there. Do you know what impressed me greatly in his stories?

DOCTOR: (pensively.) Go on, go on…

ANNA: Doctor, I can see that you’re not interested in what I’m telling you.

DOCTOR: Go on.

ANNA: I want to emphasize that all I’m telling you is very important.

DOCTOR: What do you think made the greatest impression on you?

ANNA: The most amazing thing is that Joe had traveled in many different countries but told me mainly about the countries where he visited nudist beaches. I believe that there’s no nudist beach in the whole world that he had not visited.

DOCTOR: (with some interest.) Nude beaches!

ANNA: There’re lots of them.

DOCTOR: Oh?…

ANNA: Is it important?

DOCTOR: No, it’s not important… For instance?

ANNA: I remember only – on Martha’s Vineyard and on the island of St. Martin. Unfortunately, I can’t remember others.

DOCTOR: (With more and more interest) So? Go on…

ANNA: So, we were sitting and talking. I was going to invite him to the table when he suddenly got up and said: «I’ll leave you for five minutes to have a smoke». I said to him: «Joe, you may smoke in here,». And he replied: “I can’t smoke in your the room. It’ll take me exactly five minutes». And he went out. He left and came back in five minutes. And then he suddenly rushed out of my house and ran across the street to his own house and since then I can’t go out into the street.

DOCTOR:(with wonder. ) I can’t understand what happened to your neighbor?

ANNA: Happened to me, not to him. But, please, don’t laugh at me.

DOCTOR: I won’t laugh.

ANNA: The point is when Joe was going out to have a smoke he cast a long and significant glance at me as if he wanted to explain something. I trembled with excitement. And it was then that my inner voice said: «Strip off your clothes». It said this so distinctly and clearly as I’m speaking to you now. Then repeated insistently, in the form of an order: «Be quick, off with clothes, he’ll soon come back». I decided to cover my body with a sheet, but the voice said: «Risk it, take the sheet away». Then, when I took it away, it said: «Lie down on the sofa and look as if you were lying on a nude beach».

DOCTOR: Your pose?

ANNA (demonstrating): I simply put my hands behind my head…

DOCTOR: Why?

ANNA (looking at doctor): You don’t understand? I wanted to show my breasts to advantage…

DOCTOR(with more interest. ): I see…Show me, please, your pose.

Anna puts her hands behind her head. Doctor reacts.

ANNA: My inner voice ordered me to do it.

DOCTOR: I see… and what did your inner voice say when the neighbor rushed out of the room?

ANNA: Used foul language.

DOCTOR: What did it say?

ANNA: I can’t repeat.

DOCTOR: Don’t repeat all the words.

ANNA: It said: «Hey, you, ninny, so-and-so… Now the whole street will know…». And now I can’t go in the street in daylight.

DOCTOR: Your voice didn’t explain anything to you?

ANNA: Nothing. Now I can’t walk on my street.

DOCTOR: Wrong. You of course can go out in the street.

ANNA: But doctor, I think my neighbor looks at me through the window and laughs.

DOCTOR: He doesn’t laugh at you.

ANNA: He probably has told the neighbors about the incident.

DOCTOR: Why should he tell them? Nothing happened, did it?

ANNA: Doctor, that’s really the point.

DOCTOR: Don’t worry; he told the neighbors nothing, and won’t tell.

ANNA: Doctor, how do you know that he didn’t talk to the neighbors?

DOCTOR: I had similar cases in my practice. Besides, I’m a man myself and understand something about men…

ANNA: Doctor, what shall I do now?

DOCTOR: What’s your inner voice saying to you now?

ANNA: My inner… voice? Now? Cursing…

DOCTOR: Who?

ANNA: You.

DOCTOR: How?

ANNA: I feel embarrassed, I can’t repeat…

DOCTOR: Please, tell me. It’s important.

ANNA: Using the same words?

DOCTOR: Absolutely.

ANNA: It says that you’re a fucking doctor. You know damn well such problems. You put on airs.

Pause.

DOCTOR: I see, compulsive obsessive!.. I can prescribe a medicine for you.

ANNA: The gene therapy medicine?

DOCTOR: This to get rid of your company. Next time come and see me alone, without your inner voice.

The doctor starts writing the prescription. Anna comes to the doctor to watch him writing.

ANNA (very definitely): Doctor, don’t trouble… I’ll never take it.

DOCTOR: Why not?

ANNA: I don’t want to get rid of it… my inner voice…

DOCTOR: But because of it you are having your problems. It doesn’t let you go out into the street. And it also whispers in your ear all sorts of nonsense about your neighbor… and me…

ANNA: All right, I’ve lived without the neighbor, and I’ll live on.

DOCTOR: Here is your prescription.

ANNA: I don’t need it.

DOCTOR: I insist, take it, take it! Gene therapy is not right now…

Doctor holds out the prescription. Anna reluctantly takes it.

DOCTOR: Excellent, well done… I just tried to help you…

ANNA: (suddenly shouts with her inner voice.) Help? Me? Ha! You first help yourself, you listen to your voices, and then give medicines to others. Look at him sprawling! Imagines himself: I’m a doctor, I’m a man, I understand male problems! Remember where the nudist beaches are located! He is interested in this! But to listen to the patient isn’t interesting! We’ve seen such doctors. No, we’ll find another one. And this is what we’ll do to your prescription!

Anna tears the prescription into small peaces and throws them in the doctor’s face. She grabs her purse and leaves the office banging the door loudly. Doctor takes the telephone and dials a number.

DOCTOR. Hello – “Go Travel’?.Gladys? I’ve decided. Please, find a morning flight for me… I need a ticket next week… Where? Oh, of course, to Saint Martin…

THE END

 

THE RETURN

CAST:

BORIS (BORIA): A Russian. He has lived in Boston for 15 years. Age 75-80

RAECHKA: She came to Boston with Boris. Age 75-80

Boris and Raechka are sitting at a table and listening Russian song “My dearest”. A cane leans against the table. Flowers in their store wrapping, a box of candy and a coffee pot and cups are on the table.

BORIS (reading over soft CD music to a stone faced Raechka):

“Dear, dear my Sunshine of my view

Tell me when again

I will meet with you”…

RAECHKA: So?

BORIS: Memories come flashing back… Huddled against the cold, singing with friends…The cold Fall night… The firelight made your eyes sparkle. And so we met… and married on June 1971.

RAECHKA: Boris, you haven’t called me for over two years, and now you invite yourself here to read this old song… Why couldn’t we have talked by phone?

BORIS: It’s not phone “talk”.

RAECHKA: Why, Boris?

BORIS: Raechka, why are you so cold? You always called me Boria…

RAECHKA: So what is on your mind, Boris?

BORIS: More and more I realize that our divorce was a mistake…

RAECHKA: Broken unspoken… and spoken understandings I thought we had. No children to worry over… disregard for each others feelings.

BORIS: My life has changed. I’ve had a life threatening operation…

RAECHKA: Operation? Nobody told me anything about it.

BORIS: I had a quadruple heart bypass. I had a terrible two weeks in the hospital. Then “complications”…. Over a year to recover.

RAECHKA: I have several friends who are more optimistic than you. Don’t be so dramatic.

BORIS: And that’s all, you can say? Just “I’m sorry Boria” would have been enough. I should think you would try to understand how one feels when they realize that they will soon die…

RAECHKA: You want my pity… Nothing comes out. You still only think of yourself… You have not changed… If we can’t find another topic may be you should leave.

BORIS: You’re not interested in my inner thoughts.

RAECHKA: G’Bye, Boris…

BORIS (slowly standing): All right. I’ll go.

RAECHKA: G’Bye

BORIS(slowly going toward the door ): Good bye.

RAECHKA (shouts): Boris, you forgot your cane!

(Boris returns, and sits )

RAECHKA: Take your candy and flowers too.

BORIS: My gifts? Today is your Birthday!

RAECHKA (taken aback, recovering): Well, well! You remembered! All those birthdays you completely forget! I used to get my migraine. Each put another poisoned arrow in my memory.

BORIS: Raechka, I’m sorry. I’d like another try…

RAECHKA: Take them away.

BORIS: But you need some refreshments for your guests today.

RAECHKA: No one is coming today.

BORIS: Why nobody? What about Tanya?

RAECHKA: She has found a boyfriend. She has less time for me.

BORIS: I have lost all my friends too. They die, take care of grand children, wives sick, different interests…

RAECHKA: Where is your Galochka?

BORIS: I’ve found that I’ve moderated my life. She was too active for me.

RAECHKA: You have neighbors.

BORIS: Raechka, all neighbors are Americans. With my poor English I can just greet them, and mention the weather. They are always in a hurry. I think you have the same problems…

RAECHKA: That’s life, I suppose…

BORIS: Your coffee smells good. Any more coffee left?

RAECHKA (taking a coffee mug and starting to pour): Black, right?

BORIS (accepting the mug): Thanks. The Doctor says I have to cut back on alcohol and caffein. Cutting back coffee has been harder. (Pause) Some years ago I understood, I can’t live as a hermit…

RAECHKA: But I can live alone…

BORIS: You said about my neighbors… It seems as if they are afraid of me… especially after what is happened this year…

RAECHKA: The Boston Marathon bombing?

BORIS: Yes. There is a feeling among Americans that Russia is behind some of these terrorist acts… starting with the assassination of Kennedy.

RAECHKA: Boria! You are so paranoid. That’s going too far…

BORIS: How do you explain that my neighbor John, quickly strides into his house whenever I appear? For days I wanted to tell him that Chechenia, while a part of Russia, is entirely different from Russia.

RAECHKA: Boria, you have become so boring that nobody wants to talk with you.

BORIS: No. I became vigilant.. Remember our old friends and how careful we had to be in choosing them?

RAECHKA: They could be only like-minded persons, who shared our political opinions about Soviet government or Stalin…

BORIS: We only talked with our friends at the kitchen table, where we had no phone… We had to take care about our safety…

RAECHKA: When we got together, what was our toast?…

BORIS and RAECHKA: “For the purity of our ranks”…

BORIS: All understood what it means. We all knew each other so well… All our party with friends were very friendly and joyfully…

RAECHKA: Except one…

BORIS: Do you mean your birthday party when Dima brought an acquaintance? What was his name?

RAECHKA: Alexander… He started to reminisce about the World War and “Father Stalin”… I added, that Stalin was having a nervous breakdown at the beginning of the war, and Molotov had to announce the German invasion over the radio…

BORIS: Yes, now I remember… Alexander became angry and shouted: “I won’t permit having such a great leader as Stalin talked about so disgracefully!”… At that moment our good friends started to prepare to leave. Then you were so brave and said to Alexander. “You have not come to the correct address!”… Oh my God! How frightened we all were…

(Pause)

RAECHKA: I don’t understand how Dima could have brought such a person without our permission to my birth day…

BORIS: Reachka, I have to confess… Dima did ask me, and I agreed that we would meet his friend Alexander.

RAECHKA: And you have kept it a secret this whole time? You coward!

BORIS (guilty): Forgive me… Luckily, we survived…(pause) RAECHKA, I didn’t ask you an important question… Where were you, when the bombs exploded at the Marathon?

RAECHKA: I was home…

BORIS: And I was in Copley Square watching like we used to do. I was moving around trying to get a better view. I was safely far away from explore…

RAECHKA: Why should you want to be pushed around by such a crowd?

BORIS: I don’t know… I couldn’t bare to sit home alone…

(Pause)

Earlier when I arrived in America I was completely happy, but now I’ve become more and more anxious and impatient. If anybody can just make a bomb from Macy’s pans, or buy a gun at Walmart. What can we do?

RAECHKA: Here we have FBI and policy…

BORIS: We know that our phones could be listened to by the FBI… And in spite of them listening to a lot of phones the FBI could not save us from these terrorists

RAECHKA: Now I understand, why you said that you didn’t want to talk by phone…

BORIS: Right…

RAECHKA: Boria, who would be interested in your conversations?

BORIS: I don’t know… But I know, that I can talk about my inner thoughts and worries only with you…

RAECHKA: And your worries are…?

BORIS: It seems to me, now in America, the government has made us to be vigilant… (Pause) If the small boat owner was not vigilant and hadn’t seen blood on his boat the police would never have found this Chechen terrorist…

RAECHKA: So, what do you think?

BORIS (depressed): We have to be the same as we were in Russia, to care of our survival ourself…

RAECHKA: What we have to do?

BORIS: We have to be on the lookout for suspicious people, black bags, even look out our windows to see if criminals are hiding in our yard.

RAECHKA: Boria, you are really in a bad way… You are depressed.

BORIS: Do you know a good medicine for depression?

RAECHKA: Sorry! No!

BORIS: I do know that only you could make me happy. In these times we should be together.

RAECHKA: We never could be on the same page.

BORIS: You never felt sorry for me?

RAECHKA: And were you ever sorry for me, when we were together?

BORIS: Well in some sense… The divorce was your idea. You knew how badly I was taking it, and yet you insisted.

RAECHKA: I waited a long time for you to change..

BORIS: I’m sorry… I didn’t have the right attitude about our relationship.

RAECHKA: What was your “attitude” about your marriage?

BORIS: Back then… When we met, and courted, you so wanted to marry me. You started the ball rolling, and hung in there… In the end I decided OK, I would be your husband, but I would continue to do as I was used to…

RAECHKA (upset): Your reasoning it never occurred to me…

BORIS: I couldn’t tell you. You were so happy. I didn’t want to screw it up.

RAECHKA: Yes, I was happy, when you decided to marry me… I loved you… And you, did you love me then?

BORIS: I loved you then, RAECHKA! And I love you even more now…

RAECHKA: You are joking (she admits a young flirtatious laugh)

BORIS: How do you manage to hide such a flirtatious young laugh?

RAECHKA: I don’t know. Maybe because I so seldom laugh and smile.

BORIS: The divorce ruined the whole of our life. We have lost each other…

(Boris moves chair closer to Raechka ) Do you think it was easy for me to leave you and the old familiar nest?

RAECHKA: What «nest» are you talking about? We had only just arrived here and you continued to feel free enough to chase every pretty skirt you saw. I didn’t trust you.

BORIS: Now you can trust me. I promise. All I want is five years in a peaceful comfortable situation, to help you…

RAECHKA: Do you want us to live together again?

BORIS: Why not? We are of the same ilk. You are also a homebody. We both have so much to talk about, so many common memories..

RAECHKA: Maybe I don’t want to remember.

BORIS: I often think about our past… How close our relationship was in Russia…

RAECHKA: Yes, we were joined by our common danger… survival.

(Pause)

BORIS (dream): And do you remember how we used to go camping? We lived in tents… We set out to find firewood in the forest and made a fire… And then we boiled potatoes in a kettle…

RAECHKA: We never boiled potatoes in a kettle… We put them right in the fire…

BORIS: Ah, yes! We argued about how long to wait before taking them out.

RAECHKA: We were ravenously hungry… and burned our fingers opening the potatoes’ hot, black skin…

BORIS: The night was cold and clear… All clung to the campfire and each other… (Boris moves closer to Raiechka)

RAECHKA: Dima brought out his guitar and started to play…

BORIS: We all sang… Let us sing our favorite song?

RAECHKA: “My dearest”? I’ve forgotten the words.

BORIS: I have them right here… Happy Birthday Raechka!

(Low music from CD disk…BORIS and RAECHKA listen to the music)

THE END

 

LET’S GET MARRIED

CAST:

MICHAEL: Thirty years old, he is in T shirt, shorts, and slippers.

JULIA: Thirty five years old, she is dressed to the nines.

Sunlight streams into Michaels neatly maintained apartment. A large brass ships bell hangs on the wall as well as some nautical scenes and stuff. There is a sofa with at least one throw pillow on it. Michael is hurriedly choosing a necktie. He lays the tie on a chair where already neatly is hung a white shirt and business suit

Knocking at the door.

MICHAEL: Come in! It’s unlocked!

JULIA: (enters and surveys the scene)

MICHAEL: Hi, Julia!… I’m sorry! Today will be fast… I have a business meeting.

JULIA: Well, well!

MICHAEL: I have a business appointment in an hour. I’ve already shaved and showered. (Motioning to a closed door) Ah…I’ve pulled down the bed covers…you can undress in there, while I find some black socks.

Julia, pouting, plunks her self down on the sofa.

MICHAEL: Julia! What’s the matter?

JULIA: With me?….Nothing! Absolutely nothing.

Julia resolutely makes herself more comfortable on the sofa using the throw pillows. Michael comes to Julia. He tenderly strokes her hair. He moves a few strands of hair away from her ears

MICHAEL: You want me to undress you, just like I did after we met on the “Dating Show”?

JULIA: No… I don’t want…

MICHAEL: Remember, we just had to decide so fast… had to rely just on “chemistry”. Man did I think it was a dumb TV show! But Tom and Ann persuaded me to go…and now look! Almost two whole years together. What a good match we turned out to be.

JULIA (cynically): Ya’ think so?

MICHAEL: You don’t agree?…You’re mad because I have to hurry out!

JULIA: What do you think? I only come here three times a week, and now you have scheduled something more important than me… Where are you going, anyway?

MICHAEL (condescendingly, slowly): I explained. I-have-a-business-meeting…

JULIA(suspiciously ): You’re sure? This is really “a-business-meeting”?

MICHAEL: Really Julia…I have missed you.

JULIA (cynically) I didn’t notice.

MICHAEL: You don’t believe me…I’ll prove it to you…take your clothes off.

JULIA: Earlier you’ve never had “business meetings”. Now practically every time you have a “business meeting”!

MICHAEL: Earlier, I didn’t have such difficult and important situations, as I do now…I have more responsibility… Now let’s move on to our “business”.

JULIA: Now you talk about “our business”…earlier you called it different.

Michael tries to hug Julia. Julia pushes him away

MICHAEL (surprised): Hold up! What is this?

JULIA: Don’t touch me… Do you remember the “Sacred Trip” you talked about right as we walked off the TV set?

MICHAEL: I didn’t really know what I meant by “A Sacred Trip”… Just wanted to get the sex going…

JULIA: We giggled together while we scrubbed the make up off… You stuffed the roses the show host gave us in your vest pocket and we went for coffee with Ann and Tom.

MICHAEL: I remember how long we had to talk and moon at the restaurant before they decided it was time to go.

JULIA: Our journey started as we flouted from the sofa to your bed…

MICHAEL: I was floating….drifting… to you…

(Pause)

JULIA: Me too. (Beat) Now it’s turned into an obligation… We never sit on the sofa…You never light candles. Right to bed… Our trip lasts only fifteen minutes.

MICHAEL: Julia, that’s a terrible way to talk! We are fine together.

JULIA (cynically): You’re fine!

MICHAEL: You don’t get any kind of pleasure?…Some..?

JULIA: Cosmic flood?… Ecstasy?… Vibrations?… Needling Sensation?…Well….

MICHAEL: Well…what more can I do?

JULIA: Value me more… Why don’t you ring the ships bell anymore?

MICHAEL: I will ring it… on my own yacht…

JULIA: Yacht!… Where…?

MICHAEL: Soon we will really be floating on the waves. I’ve always dreamed of sleeping on a boat…

JULIA: Where is the money… for this yacht?

MICHAEL: I’m saving for it!

JULIA (exasperated): You have no house, and you are saving for a floating palace!

MICHAEL: Why do I need a house?

JULIA: Don’t you want a family? Children?

MICHAEL: I don’t want all that… until…

JULIA: Until what? Michael, how old are you?

MICHAEL: Thirty.

JULIA: I’m thirty-three. I’m a woman…

MICHAEL: I see…

JULIA: You don’t see any thing! I want my own home… I want…ch…

MICHAEL: I didn’t know…

JULIA: When I hint about “home and hearth” you always change the subject…

MICHAEL: I just never understood your gist.

JULIA: Remember when we went to the zoo? There were those little baby monkeys. They had such cute expressions. They were so inquisitive and had such pleasure… Rolling around with each other. Hugging their mother….They even seemed to look at me with devotion…love…

MICHAEL: They didn’t make that much impression on me…Monkeys are monkeys…

JULIA: I wanted to take them in my arms. Right then, in the zoo, I knew how much I wanted to be a mother. To hug my babies. There is nothing so joyful as to think of a happy, sweet smelling, and warm baby. You felt nothing watching the baby monkeys?

MICHAEL: No… Nothing.

JULIA: Michael, how long do I have to wait? We have been together long enough.

MICHAEL: Not enough!

JULIA (exasperated): Two years is not long enough? Let’s stop and look at our relationship. You first of all love sex…

MICHAEL: Love without sex doesn’t exist. We really show love through sex.

JULIA: You think you’re a good lover?

MICHAEL: Sex is my specialty… Yes, I think most of the time I’m a good lover…

JULIA: But you don’t even know my hot spots!

MICHAEL: Well…your… we never….

JULIA: You think my erotic zone is my ears? Why are you always playing with my ears?

MICHAEL (also angry): You have never objected…

JULIA: I have a lot of patience…You don’t know anything about me, and you don’t want to know!

(Pause)

MICHAEL: What more do you want? I spend a lot of thought and energy on work. I expect a better job…. Better pay… I’m working longer. I’m working my way up the ladder. It’s hard to find this little time to spend with you.

JULIA (bitterly): And I thought in the end you would ask me to be your wife!

MICHAEL: What kind of a wife would you be? You don’t like to cook. Every time you spend a weekend here I have to clean up for an hour. You don’t even rinse your glass. Every time you want a drink you take a new glass from the shelf.

(Pause)

I’ve decided that if you get pregnant, I’ll marry you…

JULIA: How could I have become pregnant with you? I had no confidence that you’d marry me! And now you say you want to live on a boat!

MICHAEL: Well maybe… I…

JULIA: Michael, my time for kids is slowly slipping away. I’m really getting stressed about it…

MICHAEL: I don’t have those problems…

JULIA: You men don’t understand mothering. All women want to get married!

MICHAEL: Not all! My girl friend before you was dead sure she didn’t want to get married.

JULIA: Why did you break up?

MICHAEL: She cheated on me… and not just me… I have to admit she was sort of like a leaf just blown where ever nature and excitement took her…

JULIA: So since I was on the TV show you thought I was like her too? Sort of a prostitute?

MICHAEL: Well… you went to bed with me quickly… I think all women are like prostitutes… “Under their skin”…

JULIA (crying): What? What did you say?

MICHAEL: It’s not me; it’s a rhyme of Rudyard Kipling… But he thought that all women are lesbians. “The colonel’s ladies and Judi O’Grady are lesbians under their skin”…in their souls…something like that…

JULIA (bitterness mounting): Thank you for your gratis opinion about women.

MICHAEL (smiling): Just kidding!… (Looking at his watch) I have to go!

JULIA: So I have to decide what I want!

MICHAEL: What do you mean?

JULIA: To stick with you…or to find another…

MICHAEL (now angry): You blow this all up! I’m a bad lover and bad potential father just because I want a “quickie” now and then?

Julia quickly lies stiffly down on the sofa shoes and all.

JULIA: You still want me to undress?

MICHAEL: You could at least take your high heels off before you lie on the sofa!

JULIA: (artificial surprisingly) Do you really want me to take off my shoes?

MICHAEL: You’re toying with me!

JULIA: So you toyed with me! You still want me to undress?

MICHAEL: You’ve ruined any desire now.

JULIA: And….. I have no desire for you…I’ll go…

MICHAEL (shouting): Get out! Go! Find another!

JULIA (calm down): I’ll go. Even if you call me like last time, I’ll never come back!

MICHAEL: I don’t want to see you again! Go to the zoo and adopt a baby monkey!

Julia throws the sofa pillows on the floor. She kicks over the chair with Michaels clothes on it.

JULIA: So now you clean up for the last time after me!

MICHAEL (shouting): Go!… Go…get out! Bitch!

She takes off her shoes and throws her shoes at Michael who deftly ducks them.

JULIA: These are from all women! You son of a bitch! Impotent!

Julia runs out the door crying. Michael picks up a vase to throw, but then he sees the ship’s bell. He yanks the bell off the wall and throws it on the floor. He kicks it thru his thin slippers. It makes several loud clangs. He hurts his toe. He sits on the sofa in pain holding his toe. Bare foot Julia enters the apartment again

JULIA (surveying all): Michael, I heard you rang the bell! Did you call me?

Pause

Are you crying?

MICHAEL: You hurt me… Just sit down…

JULIA: Michael, I’m so sorry. I hate to fight…I feel so badly… It’s as if we descended into Hell…

MICHAEL: Me too…

JULIA: Michael, now I hope you understand me better…

MICHAEL: Yes… I understand you…

(Pause)

But Julia… please; tell me, where your hot spots are…

JULIA (cold): I don’t know…

MICHAEL: Julia, please…

JULIA: My ears…

THE END

 

MOTHER’S DAY

CAST:

PETER: 8 or 9 years old, he has a band aid on his forehead.

MICHAEL: 25–30 years old. He has a beard about five days old.

Family room in upscale home. PETER, sobbing, sits at a table drawing. MICHAEL enters, briskly.

MICHAEL: Peter, have you seen my electric razor?

PETER: No…

MICHAEL: Why are you crying?

PETER (angrily): I already told you! Zack pushed me down the stairs at school!

MICHAEL: Right. We started to talk about it in the car, and then we ran into that gridlock at 5 corners. Do you know why Zack pushed you?

PETER: Mr. Allen said to draw a picture of our mothers for Mother’s Day. Zack said I didn’t have a mother. So I pushed him.

MICHAEL: Your mama…

PETER: Papa said he’d talk to me about my mama sometime soon. I don’t know who my Mama was…

MICHAEL: Why she “was”? She’s alive…

PETER (surprised): You have seen my Mama?

(MICHAEL pulls up a chair and sits confidentially near Peter)

MICHAEL: Your Dad told me about her…

PETER: What did he tell you?

MICHAEL Well… She goes to collage. She lives in a big city far away. Your Dad is paying for her college.

PETER: Why?

MICHAEL: Because she’s your Mama.

PETER (shaken, holding back tears) Is he paying money for me?

MICHAEL: Well, sort of…

PETER: How come Mama doesn’t come see me?

MICHAEL: They agreed that you would not see or meet each other.

PETER: He paid money so that she will never see me?

MICHAEL: He loves you very much… He loves you so much he wants to have you all to himself.

PETER: If Papa loves me, why he isn’t home more?

MICHAEL: He’s an engineer. He has to travel around to different cities. He visits many different businesses that need his knowledge. Some times he gets to ride in a helicopter. When you are older he’ll probably take you with him.

PETER (Stars crying): I want him home. Not just you…

MICHAEL: Peter, you know… You know. I had never seen my real parents…

PETER (stops crying): Why?

MICHAEL: Tom’s mother and father took care of me like a son. It’s called “adoption.”

PETER: Who’s Tom?

MICHAEL: Tom, you know him, we go to Mac Donald’s every Wednesday with him. Tom is just like a brother to me. (Pause) Tom’s parents both worked very hard. My adoptive father usually came home late after I had gone to bed.…

PETER: You had a brother, but I’m all alone…

MICHAEL: Tom was mean to me for a long time. He used to hide my sneakers. He snuck bites from my desert. (Pause) Adoption made me different. It was a dirty word back then. Tom told all the kids on the block and at school. They tackled me hardest when we played pick up football. I had to be tough. (Pause) Peter, you see your father more often than I saw my adoptive father… Soon your Dad will come home, have dinner with you, read to you and tuck you in. (Pause) Now tell me where you have hidden my electric razor.

PETER (sulking): Didn’t hide it.

MICHAEL: It’s always on the shelf in the bathroom, and now it isn’t there. I guess, you want to play “hide and seek”…

PETER (still sulking): I don’t want to play any games with you. I want my Papa. (Pause) He bought me like a loaf of bread!

(PETER starts crying. MICHAEL tries to hug him but is pushed away.)

MICHAEL: We have talked about a lot… about a lot big things… adult things… It’s all new to you… I’ve been completely honest with you… and I love you.

PETER: I want Papa…

MICHAEL: He’ll be home soon for dinner… Let’s try not to upset him… He’ll be tired. Papa doesn’t know that you know so much. (Pause) This has been hard for me. I’m tired too. (Pause) And now if you don’t want to play “hide and seek,” tell me where my razor is.

PETER: Why do you want your razor?

MICHAEL: I’d like to shave and shower, and put on a clean shirt, neaten up for dinner…

PETER: You haven’t shaved all week and now that Papa is coming home you want to shave!

MICHAEL: Jake likes me clean-shaven…

PETER: So you and Papa can kiss each other?

MICHAEL(stunned ): What have you seen?

PETER: I saw how you and Papa kissed… I never saw him kiss my other babysitters… Every babysitter left after awhile, and another one came. Why are you always here?

MICHAEL: Papa entrusts you to me. We agreed we’d see how you and I got along.

PETER: You’ll be here, even when Papa is home?

MICHAEL: We all will be sort of like a family.

PETER: A family?

MICHAEL: Not a family like your friends Andy or Zack has with their parents… It would be another sort of family…There are a lot different kinds of families nowadays…

Our family would be a better family than you having one babysitter and then another babysitter. We will all get to know each other better.

PETER: It means you’ll live with us always?

MICHAEL: Maybe….I like to read to you… I like to play with you… I love you. (Pause) We’ll get different kinds of power from each other… Like Harry Potter has powers beyond anybody else…

PETER: What kind of powers?

MICHAEL: Who knows? So much happens that we don’t understand…

(PETER has been getting more and more unsettled.)

Peter, what do you want to ask me about? What’s the matter?

PETER: I don’t it like when you pick me up at school!

MICHAEL: Why not?

PETER: When you started to come, the mothers and babysitters hurried my friends away. (Pause) Yesterday Andy and Zack didn’t let me play with them. Today they pushed me around and called me “fairy!”… I want a babysitter like all the other kids.

MICHAEL: I’d better talk to your teacher…

PETER (Beginning to cry): No! No! You can’t go to school… No don’t talk to Mr. Allen

MICHAEL (nervously): Peter, OK… Don’t cry… I only want to help you… Soon your Dad will come and he’ll see your tears… I promise not to go to school…

PETER (Stops crying): I can take care of myself. (Pause) I think your razor is in my room…

(MICHAEL, relieved and smiling, exits. PETER pushes the old drawing aside and starts a new drawing.

MICHAEL (beginning to cry): Peter! I don’t see it!

PETER: Where are you?

MICHAEL: I’m by your table.

PETER: Cold.

MICHAEL: Now I’m standing near your bed…

PETER: Warmer!

MICHAEL: Here it is. It was under your pillow!

(We hear the razor running as PETER concentrates on drawing. MICHAEL returns with the razor running he shouts over the razor noise.)

Up to your old tricks again? I won’t have time to shower… I’ll just change my shirt then I’ll set the table.

(He turns the razor off.)

I have a nice pot roast and in the oven. What do you want for dessert?

PETER: Key lime pie.

(MICHAEL suddenly peers at PETER’s drawing.)

MICHAEl: What’s this?

PETER: It’s you.

MICHAEL: But I shaved off my beard.

PETER: I drew it from memory.

MICHAEL: Why my portrait?

PETER: To take to school and give to Mr. Allen. (PETER is watching Michael with a smile)

MICHAEL: What for?

PETER: I’ll tell him… you are kind of my mother… do you think the teacher will understand me?

MICHAEL: Mr. Alen will understand you, but your friends will not understand.

PETER: I don’t know what to do?

MICHAEL: Don’t cry. I have idea. Your father has black hair, but you are blond. I think you are like your mother. You could paint your face with long hair and say to Mr. Alen that this is your mother.

PETER: This is idea, thank you. And you could take your portrait for the idea.

MICHAEL: Thank you, I will nail it in my room… I love you…

THE END

 

FATHER’S DAY

CAST:

DADDY: 40 years old

SARA: 15 year old daughter

DADDY sits at kitchen table. He just wearing socks. He’s sipping a beer, he appears sort of depressed. There is a news paper, but he is looking at a picture of a middle aged woman. There is a pile of neatly folded laundry on the edge of the table.

There is the sound of footsteps. He sighs kisses the picture and puts the picture down. SARA flounces in texting on her cellphone. She throws off her backpack full of books.

DADDY: Hi Princess… Why Late? Heavy backpack!

SARA: Bio today. That book is the heaviest. Field hocky went late..

DADDY: I was missing you!

SARA: You’re missing Mom.

DADDY: You’re getting pretty. Like your Mom. All the men used to look at her.

SARA: Daddy! Mom again?

DADDY: She died two years ago tomorrow…

SARA (looking at the photo of her mother) I know…. I still have dreams about her.

DADDY: I wish you knew more about her.

SARA: (running stage left) I want a Coke. (finds one). When are you going to start buying me some beer? (Sara finally looking at the pile of clothes). Wow! You’ve been doing laundry! (prepares to leave again)

DADDY: Went to Market Basket too. We were running low…out of Diet Coke…… Where are you going?

SARA: To the library. (sneaks a pill from the backpack and swallows)…Ashley will help me with Geometry.….

DADDY (sees her take the pill): I thought we had stopped the pills… What’s going on? I thought you were better.

SARA: I am… Today, Mr. Gordon said that both boys and girls have more active hormones…. We’re not children anymore!

DADDY: But lying in bed all day. Refusing to go to school… That’s more than hormones… I’ll make another appointment with Doctor Knowles.

SARA: No! No! I don’t need a doctor! No! I’m cool!

DADDY: Your cool mood frightens me even more… Knowles called me afterwards and said you appeared somewhat manic depressive…

SARA: Manic Depressive?

DADDY; Your very good moods suddenly turn to black depression for no apparent reason.

SARA: Daddy, I have nothing like that!

DADDY: Sara, why are you so moody? What’s going on? I’ve been thinking it was because of you’re mother’s death.

SARA: (looking at her mothers picture) I still think about her… I get sad… (looks at her father) But Mom is not my problem. Daddy, I’ve really got to get to the library.

(Starts to get up and puts on lipstick )

DADDY: Tell me what you think the problem is… I want to know.

SARA: I’m in a hurry…

DADDY: Tell me, and then you can go.

SARA: Why do you always want to talk when I’m in a hurry?

Daddy: Tell me! (Pause) Help me…

SARA: OK… because of Skip…

DADDY (motioning to the newspaper): Isn’t “Skip” captain of the Freshman football team. Right? What’s up?

SARA: He’s eating lunch at Brittany’s table… Not mine anymore. Then in study after lunch he comes up to me… He says I used to be his best friend… but now….

DADDY: What else does he say?

SARA: Daddy, I don’t want to upset you.

DADDY: I’m already big time upset! We don’t have your Mom to help us anymore. Let’s try to work this out together..…

SARA: Promise not to get mad and fly off the handle?

DADDY: I promise! What else is he saying to you?

SARA: Since the Prom, we’ve been spending a lot time together… walking, kissing…

DADDY: Kissing?

SARA: Ali and Ryan are kissing each other… and more…

(Pause)

Well…..Skip has become more stubborn… about us.…

DADDY: Stubborn, about more than kissing?

SARA: I’ve put him off. He called me all kinds of names… anyhow… Ashley told me that she saw him with Kirsten over at Middle school.

DADDY; Maybe you should try talking with him?

SARA (nostalgically): I did! I reminded him about when we were in preschool. We were the “odd pair”… We hid upstairs and read books together… In 5th grade he gave me a ring made of knotted rope… Last year we climbed to the top of Blue Hill and picked blue berries… We could see for miles…we said one day we would fly in one of those airplanes flying so close to us. We would fly to London…to Paris. Maybe even Hawaii…

(Pause)

Then I managed to ask him how Kirsten was better than me…

He said she on a scale of one to ten I was a ten, but she’s like 1000…She’s exciting… spicy,…less stiff…

DADDY: Bastard!

SARA: That’s when I went to bed all day… I felt so heavy. My head hurt. Now you see, I’m better…

DADDY: Why are you better?

SARA: I have Skip again! Now can I go?

DADDY: Skip! Give me your backpack! (they fight over it. Daddy wins. He searches and finds the pills). These don’t look like the pills Doctor Knowles prescribed!

SARA: Give ‘em back!

DADDY: What are these pills?… One a day!… Are these birth control pills?

(SARA is silent ).

DADDY: Skip wants sex!… with you!!! You’re only fourteen years old!!! Only 9th grade…

SARA: I’m fifteen..

DADDY(fit of temper ) No! No! This is the limit! Neither of you are prepared.

SARA (fit of temper) Daddy! I’m not ignorant! There’s reality TV, internet, Facebook, Twitter…

DADDY(shouting ): Sara! You could get pregnant! Or get a disease that would affect you for the rest of your life.

SARA: The world is different from when you were in high school…

(Sara uses her cell and finds a picture of her friends having sex. Holding the phone in his face she shouts )

See! Half my friends are having sex!

DADDY: Oh God! I’m not prepared for this. Why did you decided to have sex?… Why?

SARA: I agreed, when… when he said he wanted to marry me…

DADDY (shouting): He lies! He only wants sex!!

SARA: I can’t go on without Skip. It’s like… how… how you miss… Mama.

DADDY: If you get pregnant? Then what? How do you think you’ll remember to take a pill every day? You can’t remember to take off your shoes when you come into the house!

(Pause )

You have no idea how confused your life will be if you start having sex… Boys want sex every minute… He will never marry you…

SARA (starts to go again): I have to go.

DADDY (grabs Sara’s wrist, and raises his other hand): Don’t go!

SARA (raises her hands): Let me go!

DADDY: I’m your Father!

SARA: If you hit me, I’ll call the police…

DADDY: I’ll call the police too!! I know… I’ll drive over to Skip’s parents! You don’t care enough about your future!

SARA: Just because you’re my “Father” doesn’t make you God! It’s my life!

(Pause )

DADDY(softer, serious ): I love you… I want to be with you as long as I can..…

(He sits resigned )

Sit down. I have to tell you something right now! Sit.

SARA (sits): You are just going to twist things!

DADDY: I’ve told you that your mother and I met each other at Northeastern. I was 19, she was 19 too.

SARA: I know… I’ve heard many times.

DADDY(deep breath )… She got pregnant! We had no skills, no job, no money and we we were both in debt. We couldn’t possibly have a child… there was just one thing to do… Abortion.

We got married in our senior year. We got jobs. Saved money…

After the abortion your mom couldn’t get pregnant. You are adopted!

SARA: Wh…WHAT?

DADDY: Your mother and I adopted you when you were six months old!

SARA (aghast): You’re not my real father!…You’ve lied to me!

DADDY: It was not a lie…

SARA (taking and looking at her mothers picture): Mom was not my real mother? Why didn’t she say…sooner?

DADDY: Ever since we adopted you, your Mother and I have been thinking about how to tell you. All the time… I felt guilty; I said that about your looks. You are very pretty, like she was…

(Pause )

I still remember carrying you home that first day. You were so precious to us. So small… You started to cry. I held you close to me and you stopped crying, and you smiled at me.

SARA (shakily): You didn’t you tell me sooner?

DADDY: I tried a couple of times. I’m sorry… Now I feel better that you know at last…

SARA: Where‘s my mother?

DADDY: I don’t know where she is now…

SARA: Who is she?

DADDY: She was only 15 like you… She came from out of town to study here. She lived with her Aunt and Uncle. She alone decided to give you up…

SARA: Her parents?

DADDY: They know nothing about you… She never told them. They lived in another state…

SARA: I want to meet my mother… who is she?… Are we alike? She must be something like me. I will never know unless I meet her… (Pause) Who is my father?

DADDY: I don’t know. His name is not on your birth certificate…

SARA: What’s my name?

DADDY: Your mother gave you her last name… O’Brian… But we gave you ours… Thompson…

SARA (musingly): O’Brian!… Sara… I’m Sara O’Brian…

DADDY(kindly ): No!… You are still Sara Thompson!

(Daddy hugs Sara )

THE END

 

BUSINESS TRIP TO PARIS

CAST:

OLGA: 65. Michael’s daughter.

MICHAEL: 85 Olga’s blind father.

A hospital room. MICHAEL lies on a bed with an intravenous tree drip and oxygen tubes in his nose. He is barefoot.

OLGA walks in. She hugs and kisses MICHAEL, as best she can around his tubes.

OLGA. Papa! Oh, papa! I’m so relieved to see you!

MICHAEL (speaking carefully and slowly). Where am I?

OLGA. Memorial hospital…

MICHAEL. Why?

OLGA. You passed out. You fell, hit your head hard… We called the ambulance…How do you feel now, PAPA?

MICHAEL. You’ll not to believe me… I can see! I can see again!

OLGA. What do you see?

MICHAEL. Colors!

OLGA. Papa, you are in shock…

MICHAEL. I can see perfectly! No more white stick!

OLGA. The doctor told me that you have some problems with your mind and your heart

MICHAEL. Now I will be able to walk faster. I am normal! (pause) You don’t believe me?

OLGA. Papa, what you can see?

MICHAEL. I can read the Leningrad sign. It’s on the station platform. The trains are waiting… On the wall is the portrait of Brezhnev. My colleagues from the institute are all over there… They’re here to see me off… I’m going to Paris…

OLGA. To Paris?

MICHAEL. I’m presenting my paper on drawbridge construction…

OLGA. Papa, you’re, hallucinating!

MICHAEL. No! I am not… It’s real The French invited me to talk. I’ve told you how famous our bridges are… What is strange is that the Party Committee let me go… But I have to have a “Chaperone”… Dima… He is a Party Member

OLGA. Do you see me Papa?

MICHAEL. Well, how can I see you if you are standing in back me? (Suddenly,he raises up and extends his right hand) Hello… hello! Vasiley Ivanovich, I’m so pleased… Have you seen Dmitry my fellow traveler?

OLGA. Papa, the nurse told me, you shouldn’t sit up, even if you felt like it.. Just try to snooze a little…

MICHAEL (excitedly). I can’t sleep… I’m preparing for a business trip… (He rocks back to sit up. He looks around the room) Why isn’t she here? She said she’d come to say goodbye… We agreed…

OLGA. Who?

MICHAEL. Galya…

OLGA. Galya, who?

MICHAEL. Galya…You talked with her for a long time at our laboratory reception last spring…

OLGA. Oh, I remember her… She was so enthusiastic her work… Papa, the doctor said you haven’t slept since you arrived here… You must lay back and sleep…

MICHAEL. I’ll rest when I find Galya… It’s really important, I have to talk. With her…

OLGA. And then you will rest?

MICHAEL. When she comes I’ll rest… This is my final dissuasion…

OLGA. Do you promise me to rest then?

MICHAEL. Yes, I do…

OLGA. OK…

(Long Pause. OLGA starts gently talking as if she were Galya. She change her voice deeper and sexier )

Michail Mironovich! Hello, hello!It’s me… Galya. At last I found you! They changed your train track at the last minute. How are you?

MICHAEL (Jumps to sitting and shakes Olga’s hand). Gallochka! Finally! (Pause) I have something very important to say to you. Listen carefully…

OLGA. (Galya’s voice). Mikhail Mironovich I understand, but first you must lie back.

MIKHAEL. (Mikhael lies back down) Galochka! Finally! (Pause) Listen carefully… All right but listen, 1 am going to Paris… But… 1 have to tell you…

OLGA (Galya’s voice). Michael Mironovich, I understand, but first you must lie back…

MICHAEL (lies back down). I’m going to Paris… But I have to tell you, I’ll be back…

OLGA. I know, you will be back…

MICHAEL. But I have to tell you I won’t be coming back to you…

OLGA (in her own voice shocked). Papa! What are you saying?

MICHAEL. Olga! When did you come back? I was talking to Galya… Galochka! Galochka! Where are you? (jumping up) Where are my shoes? I have to find her… Please give me my shoes, (The oxygen tubes fall from Michael’s nose. Olga tries to hold Michael on the bed)

OLGA. Papa, please, lie back… you don’t need shoes you’re in the hospital… Your oxygen has fallen out…

MICHAEL (resisting). I won’t lie down until I explain more to Galochka! Get out of my way! Call her back! I have more to explain… Where is she?

OLGA (switching to Galya’s voice with an edge). Michael Mironovich…

MICHAEL. Galochka, why are you so formal? You call me Misha…

OLGA. Here are many strangers, your fellow workers…

MICHAEL. You’re right… No one need know… Let me have your hand…

(Olga extends her hand )

Your hands are always so warm so soft. I love to hold them and kiss them…

(He tries to kiss Olga’s hand )

OLGA. Misha, not now… not the right place…

MICHAEL. Galochka, try to understand… This paper is the biggest chance in my life… I have to grovel before… The Party Committee didn’t want to give me permission to go to Paris. For a little professional recognition… I had to be stubborn humiliated and have Dima follow me all the time… But… They added a special condition about you and me… I can’t come to you after Paris (Pause) Please, forgive me… Galochka.. I hope you will understand… I don’t want to give up this chance… Do you understand? (Pause) Galochka! What do you say? Why are you silent? Say something… Galochka! Where are you?

OLGA. (own voice) Papa! What are you saying?

MICHAEL. Where is Galochka?

OLGA. She went away…

MICHAEL. Where? Why?

OLGA. To get your shoes…

MICHAEL. Call her back… I have to explain all and to ask her forgiveness…

OLGA. Why… do you have to ask Galya’s forgiveness?

MICHAEL. She and I had an agreement…

OLGA. Agreement? What about?

MICHAEL. I was to go to her with one suitcase… You and Mama would stay in the apartment with all the furniture the paintings, money, everything…

OLGA. How could you? Did Mama know anything about you and Galya?

MICHAEL. I think she knew something…

OLGA. But you never left us, Papa…

MICHAEL. The Party Committee said I could only go to Paris if I completely ended my relationship with Galya… Galya never forgave me my trip to Paris… Now I have missed another chance to ask her forgiveness…

(MICHAEL jumps up )

I have to try to find her…

(He puts feet on the floor. All the tubes have fallen off… He starts to walk gasps and falters… OLGA forces him back to bed )

OLGA. Papa, lie down again! I’ll call the nurse…

MICHAEL. (weakly) You don’t need to call anybody but Galochka.

OLGA. Listen to me! You are now in… the hospital! Do you understand? You are in Memorial Hospital

MICHAEL. Where?

OLGA. In the hospital… Not Leningrad… Papa, you are in America… In Boston Ame-ri-ca!!

MICHAEL. How could I be in America?

OLGA. After Perestroika we came to Boston… Five years ago on your 80th birthday… Remember?

MICHAEL. Where is Mama?

OLGA. Mama died…

MICHAEL. She died? (Pause) When?

OLGA. We came to America after she died…

(Beat )

MICHAEL (suddenly jumping up again shouting). Galochra! Galochka! Here I am!

OLGA. Papa, she isn’t here…

MICHAEL. I saw Galochka in the crowd…I’m calling to her…. There! She has on her blue knitted cap… She knitted it during lunch breaks… Then she knitted my scarf…

OLGA. Papa, lie down. The nurse will fix your tubes…

MiICHAEL (pushing the intravenous tree aside). No tubes… I tear them out! I don’t want Galochka to see me helpless and weak with tubes all over me…

OLGA (almost crying). Papa! I don’t know what to do with you… You must lie still…

MICHAEL. I’ll lie down when Galochka gets here.

OLGA. OK… Papa, she is coming… Here she is… (Galya’s voice) Misha, please lie back…

MICHAEL. Galochka! You brought my shoes?

OLGA. Yes, I have them…

MICHAEL. Put them on me, please…

OLGA. Misha, why do you want your shoes?

MICHAEL. I can’t go to Paris like this barefoot… My feet are cold… (OLGA finds his slippers and puts them on his feet) Is Olga gone?

OLGA. Just for a minute…

MICHAEL. I have something very important to tell you… Listen carefully (dreamily) Galya! We are in America! We are in a free country! Now we can go to Paris together… We will go up the EIFFEL Tower and walk along the Elysian Fields… What more? The Louvre! We will stroll by the river at night… Oh, and the bridges… What is that river?

OLGA. The Seine…

MICHAEL (weakly). Yes, yes the Seine… Now we are as free as birds… No Communist Party to take you away from me and mess up our lives… Give me your hand… I want to feel beside me…

(OLGA gives him her hand )

Galochka, I’m so glad you forgave me… On the train I will lie on my bank and sleep… Just don’t go away, Galochka, and don’t take away your hand… We are going to Paris… We’re together… Now we are together… Forever…

(Michael lies peacefully on his bed. Olga covers him with blanket )

Galochka, put your hand over my eyes… This bright light… It disturbs my sleep… Thank you, thank you… I love you…

(OLGA puts her hand over her father’s eyes as lights fade )

THE END

 

MISHA CHEKHOV

CAST:

MISHA CHEKHOV – Sixty year old actor. A smallish dapper man with a beard. Wearing white shirt and tie.

XENIA CHEKHOV – His wife is in her sixties.

Scene:

It’s 1954 in their home in Los Angeles. Misha is sitting at a desk, or table, with a top drawer in it.

(Misha sits in an office chair on wheels. Using an old phone he holds the receiver and waits. He is smoking. Music is playing very loudly from somewhere in the house )

XENIA (off stage): Misha! Misha, breakfast is ready!

(Misha puts the cigarette into the ashtray and pushes it away. He grabs the phone receiver, dials a number. Xenia enters the room sniffing the air )

MISHA: I am busy…

XENIA: You’re smoking again? You’ll die!

MISHA: I know! I know! I will die… (Smiling) May be not from smoking…

XENIA: You promised me, and your doctor… and you still…

MISHA: OK! That is the last! Don’t nag me any more… I’m calling…

XENIA (off stage): Who are you calling?

MISHA: Yul…

XENIA: (off stage) Yul Brynner? Why? Is he starting lessons again?

MISHA: I heard that he will be in “The Brothers Karamazov”…

XENIA:(entering ) You want to congratulate him?

MISHA: I have an idea… I want to help Marilyn Monroe…

(Sighing Misha sets down the receiver ) Nobody answers…

XENIA (indignant): Agh! Are you up to your old games!

MISHA: What do you mean?

XENIA: Oh! He doesn’t understand! I’ve had enough of your escapades… Sally, Anne, and Margaret that vamp back in Connecticut…

(Xenia exits )

MISHA: Listen, we were working on “The Cherry Orchard”… This was one of my first lessons with Marilyn. She played, Anya, the daughter of the heroine. To my surprise, I felt a strong sense of excitement… sexual excitement.

XENIA (entering with a tray of tea): No surprise there! It is not the first time…

MISHA: Marylyn projected a powerful feeling.

I stopped her… and asked Marylyn if she was thinking about sex while she was acting the role of Anya.

XENIA: Uh-huh…

MISHA: My sudden question shocked her. She said that in no way was she thinking about sex… She was concentrating only on playing the role.

XENIA: You believed her?

MISHA: It became clear that she completely unconsciously radiated a sexual aura… When I explained this to her she said she wanted to be a serious actress and not just a sex symbol… and… yes… I believed her.

XENIA: Uh huh, so… where does Yul come in? Why do you want to call him?

MISHA: Maybe Yul will talk with the studio bosses about

a role for Marylyn in “The Brothers Karamozov”…

XENIA: What role do you have in mind?

MISHA: Grushenka. Grushenka, the heroine…

XENIA: (astounded) Michael!

MISHA: I’m not Michael; (with shy smile) I’m Misha!

XENIA: Naïve!…You aren’t on the moon, you’re in America!… Marilyn Monroe as a Dostoevsky Russian enchantress!

MISHA (dreamy voice): I can see Marilyn as Grushinka…

XENIA: Misha you are batty. Crazy!… She is another passing fancy of yours.

MISHA: Marilyn is not passing fancy, she is my student.

XENIA: Margaret was your student too and she had no acting talent. But in your craziness you gave her leading roles in your productions…

MISHA(compassionately concerned ): Xenia, calm down…

XENIA: I can’t calm down… Have you completely forgotten your mooning outside Margaret’s dorm window in plain view of all your students?

MISHA: But Marilyn is a serious and talented actress…

(Xenia laughs about that idea )

XENIA: You are a great and talented actor too! You’d better think about yourself… I can’t forget how well we lived in Connecticut, you had a group of actors there…

MISHA (with patience): The war began… The money stopped… We could only move to Los Angeles… Here only movie studios, no theaters… They invite me to play in movies, but it’s my Russian accent… here it’s good only for foreign men with beards… for spies… criminals.

XENIA: (angry) No! All was ruined with your infatuations… Nobody wanted to trust their money to a crazy Russian.

MISHA: That night you were crazy too… Remember, what did you cry to the students?

XENIA: Of course!…You get out! You… You all… You nosy! You gossipy understudies! (Pause) And you!… You!… Whore!…Get out! You dumb vamp! Get out! Crazy… Slut…Seductress!… Bait… Bitch… Prostitute!

MISHA: Why did you call my students such dirty words?

XENIA: I called “bitch and prostitute” your lover Margaret.

MISHA: You cried me: “Go ahead die!… Die!… Die you bastard!” Did you really want I would die?

XENIA: No… I only wanted the students go away from the room and you finish this scene. I know you didn’t have a heart attack…

MISHA: How did you guess?

XENIA: I knew your dirty tricks… After you finished playing… you put your head up and asked me: They… They are gone?

MISHA: But I played heart attack very well… All the dorm students actually believed that I could die…

XENIA (sadly): You didn’t die then, but you’re dying now…

MISHA: What do you say?

XENIA: You are dying as a theatre actor here in Hollywood. “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach”

MISHA (hands up): Stop! It is hard for me… Yes, now I can only promote… motivate my students here. But I was a great actor!

XENIA: Did you really come here to teach Hollywood actors, to make them better? To make movie bosses richer? Why are you here?

MISHA: I am here… helping people to grow spiritually…

XENIA: (laughs): You are calling Yul because… because in order to help Merilyn grow spiritually… Misha, I keep reminding you why you came to America… You had a dream to make a theater like Stanislavsky in Moscow… You are working very hard, creating a group of talented actors, and all in vain… Where is your King Lear, Don Quixote, Pickwick Papers?

MISHA: (seriously, slowly, sadly) I don’t know… I think about how it happened. I analyze…

XENIA: You came to conquer America with our art and in the end America conquered you…

MISHA: So it seems… I arrived in America, where I didn’t understand anything or anyone… It was an unbelievable, astonishing country… And I with my Russian mentality dreamed of accomplishing something new, to astonish all country. Later I understood that it could not be any different…

(Pause)

Remember! When we come to America, whole world went crazy. In Germany fascism, in Russia communism… I wanted to warn the American people that the same thing could happen here… Maybe didn’t understand anything…

XENIA: You don’t understand a lot of things…

MISHA: But I always believed in the great mission of theater… And I believe now…

XENIA: Misha, there is no mission…

Misha (surprised): Do you really think that?

XENIA (confidently): Yes…

MISHA (confused): Then why did I become an actor? You think only because for to make the audience relax and laugh, instead of getting any emotional experience?

XENIA: Of course! The people work all day. They are tired. They come to theater to forget about their real life… They want to laugh…

MISHA (very intensely, sadly, showing his emotions by, standing, sitting, etc): Xenia, often I have the same dream… I’m sitting in my theater dressing room in Moscow, make up all over my face. I’m playing “Hamlet”… wait nervously… and then the warning bell rings. I walk out on stage. In front of me this dark silent auditorium and I speak into this empty darkness the first words of Hamlet’s monolog, “To be, or not to be”… Then I wake up… and recognize where I am and I am filled with such melancholy… I know I will never get to play Hamlet… not ever… not ever in America. It’s not like Russia…

(Misha slumps from exhaustion. His eyes fill with tears. He takes a cigarette… He lights it… takes a hungry drag. Xenia doesn’t stop him )

MISHA (seriously intensely): Now I have come to the conclusion that it was a complete mistake to leave our native land…

XENIA (upset): Oh Misha! Stop! Stalin was crazy. He was arresting actors right and left…

MISHA(still intense, distressed, another brief but relaxed drag on the cigarette ): I toed the line. Stalin respected… my uncle…

XENIA (tensely): Don’t be silly… Misha dear, don’t break down. We are alive here, in America!

(Pause)

You have accomplished so much here…

MISHA (intensely, enjoying each cigarette drag): What have I accomplished in your opinion? Except I’m alive?

XENIA (hasty): Your books are selling well… You have taught many famous actors, and friends…

MISHA(smiling infectiously ): And now I know what they will write about me in obituary: “Died: Michael Chekhov, nephew of famous Russian writer Anton Chekhov. A teacher of Ingrid Bergman and Yul Brunner”

XENIA: Also Gary Cooper… and James Dean, and Gregory Peck…

MISHA: M-m.-m… Marilyn Monroe…

XENIA(Laughs ): You go on so!

(She turns as if to exit )

MISHA: Xenia, I love you…

XENIA: I love you too Misha, despite all your craziness…

MISHA: We have been so long together, that we seldom try to bare our souls to each other… I’m very obliged to you…

(Misha takes a last long pleasurable drag on his cigarette and promptly snuffs it out ).

XENIA: For my frankness?

MISHA (with a vague smirk, and twinkle in eye): You let me peacefully smoke my cigarette… at last…

THE END

 

NIGHT WORK

CAST:

MIKLE: Thirty-five year old. He is driving a car.

ANNA: Thirty-five years old.

Mikle is driving home after working all night. He keeps yawning, falling asleep at the wheel, and catching himself. He sees Anna trying to hitch a lift. She is dressed in nurse’s “scrubs”… Mikle stops and opens the door:

ANNA: Thanks… I’m late for work.

MIKLE: Get in.

ANNA (sitting in car): My car won’t start. (Beat) Maybe you’ll take me as far as you’re going on route 18. (Beat) I work at South Shore Hospital.

MIKLE: I had a little trouble starting too…..dampness……

(Pause)

ANNA: I know it’s unusual to hitch hike in “scrubs”.

MIKLE: I suppose… didn’t think much about it. People wear all sorts of things.

ANNA: I hate to waste time changing at work… how far are you going?

MIKLE: If I don’t hit a tree, I’m going to South Weymouth…. I can take you right to the hospital.

ANNA: Good! Thanks!

MIKLE (head nods): I’ve worked all night…

ANNA: I’d like to pay some. (She finds and hands him a $10 bill).

MIKLE (waving the money off): No, no, just keep talking. I’m sleepy…..

ANNA: I’m Anna… you?

MIKLE (turning towards Anna): Mikle..l…l..l…l

(His head falls on Anna’s shoulder. Anna elbows him in the ribs and grabs wheel just holding it straight ).

ANNA: Hey!!

MIKLE (head jerking up): Cut it…

ANNA(calmly ): Please! This is very dangerous!

MIKLE: Talk! Speak up. Make it interesting…

ANNA: About?

MIKLE: Anything, just anything…

ANNA: My, what a lot of rain we had last night (beat) more this afternoon and…tonight… and

(Mikle falls asleep again, falling toward Anna. She pushes him away and again grabs the wheel. Michael recovers and continues driving.

ANNA (moving further away): Do you have a wife?

MIKLE: Yes…

ANNA: Does she work?

MIKLE: Why do you ask?

ANNA: I’m just making conversation. People start talking about the weather and then go on to talking about their work. It’s important that you talk too.

MIKLE: She works at a store…..

ANNA: What does she think about your working nights?

MIKLE: She doesn’t like it…

ANNA: Why?

MIKLE: She’s afraid to be home alone at night. She asked me to find another job… Anyhow she has found how to get over her fear…

ANNA: How?

(Mikle’s head falls to steering wheel, asleep. Anna reaches for the wheel and punches him in the side )

MIKLE: Ah! Wha..?

ANNA: I asked what way?

MIKLE: Way?

ANNA: How did your wife cure her fear?

MIKLE: Oh, that… She starts work early. She goes to bed early and takes a sleeping pill… As long as I’m on night shift this has to be the solution.

ANNA; She is still home when you get there?

(Mikle’s head drops, but he catches himself ).

MIKLE: She…she usually has left……

(Michael’s head drops again, but he catches himself )

ANNA: Michael! Try harder!!…Who gets dinner?

(Mikel’s head drops again, but he catches himself )

MIKLE: I… I usually get dinner….she talks on the phone

Pause

I don’t have to leave until 10 o’clock. (Beat) I think she wishes I would leave earlier.

ANNA: Don’t you at least have children to discuss?

MIKLE: No kids…

(Anna opens her pocket book. She takes out a sandwich, unwraps it and offers him a half )

ANNA: My lunch… You’re probably hungry. It’s left over from my frozen dinner last night…..Here… I haven’t touched it… eat at least a half…

(He waves the sandwich away )

You need to keep your jaws moving or you’ll fall asleep.

Pause

You practically never get to talk to your wife!

MIKLE: At least we have the weekend together…..

ANNA: And that’s enough time for you to get together for a bit of sex?

(Milk’s head falls to chest, but he catches it in time )

ANNA (Face hardening with resolve): You know… I liked it when my husband worked nights.

MIKLE (surprised): You didn’t mind being alone at night?

ANNA: I certainly wasn’t afraid.

MIKLE: Why so brave? The house creaks! Shadows at the windows!

ANNA: I had a love affair….

MIKLE (appraising glance at Anna): Oh…

ANNA: While my husband got ready for work, I went to bed. I had changed clothes but I was nicely dressed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and pretended to start to sleep.

MIKLE: Clothes on in bed? Why?

ANNA: I didn’t want to waste time… My husband only worked two nights a week. My boyfriend, Ted, and I were very much in love… Impatient.

MIKLE: And when your husband left?

ANNA: I hurried out to Ted. He parked outside, waiting for my husband to leave. We headed for his apartment…sometimes we didn’t manage to get to bed…on the floor… we…

MIKLE (now wide awake): On the floor fully clothed!

ANNA: Practically…and sometimes we would do it in the car.

MIKLE: In the front seat?

ANNA: No, not in the front, in the back.

MIKLE: Hard in the car?

ANNA: No… but on the floor is better!

MIKLE: And…..next?

ANNA: Oh! We straightened up….Ate dinner. Flowers….music, wine… candles…

MIKLE: Yes?

ANNA: And then (recalling) All night! I still think about that time. Hardly any sleep… I was very happy…my heart beats faster when ever I think about it.

MIKLE: Morning!. In the morning?

ANNA: We ate breakfast together. Coffee, the sun streaming in. Then he drove me right to the hospital…..

MIKLE: Suppose your husband had come home earlier from work?

ANNA: I would say that the head nurse had called me in early on an emergency… car didn’t start… took a taxi… It sometimes happens anyhow.

MIKLE: How long did this go on?

ANNA: About two years…

MIKLE (incredulously): And during those two years your husband never suspected?

ANNA: Mikle…I made…

Pause

It’s not important…

MIKLE: Why not important?

ANNA: I see you’re awake now!.

(Pause)

MIKLE: What time is it?

ANNA: Seven forty.

MIKLE: Hold on.

(Michael sits up straighter and steps on the gas )

ANNA (thrown back by the acceleration): Mikle! Mikle this is dangerous! I’ll get there on time. I don’t start till eight.

(Anna holding tight to the hand grab, is thrown from side to side as Michael negotiates some sharp curves )

ANNA: I’m afraid you’ll hit something…

MIKLE: Have to go faster…I’m afraid….

ANNA: That last light was red!

MIKLE: Huh huh…

ANNA (hanging on for dear life): Oh…oh I can’t!… Stop!

(Pause )

ANNA (continues) Mikle, I made it all up!… All…About husband…about affair… I have no husband…I’ve never been married.

MIKLE: Made up?

ANNA: Fantasies. They woke you!

MIKLE: Made up? Prove it!

ANNA: I was trying to keep you awake!… I’m sorry!

MIKLE: Made up?…Sorry!…

ANNA: I’ll swear on it… Just a good story.

MIKLE: Never sex on the floor and in the car?

ANNA: Never! Honest!

MIKLE: Hardly! You lied to your husband. You’re lying to me. Lies!

(Both are thrown back as the car accelerates more )

ANNA: Do I really look like a married woman? Look at me!

MIKLE (looking straight ahead): You really…don’t look…

ANNA: And what do I look like… in your opinion?

MIKLE: No one!

ANNA: That’s all?

MIKLE: Don’t know…maybe a prostitute…

ANNA (starts to whack Michael on the shoulder): You’re mean. Nasty! Stop! I want to get out!

MIKLE (jerking the wheel): Stop it! I hit the curb!

ANNA (opens the car window and shouts): Help! Police! Help!

MIKLE: Shut up! Shut the window!

ANNA: You asked me to wake you up…”Say something interesting”…

MIKLE (grimly): Best you had been quiet…

ANNA (car swerves, she shouts): If I had been quiet you would have had an accident… We both would be dead…

MIKLE: Be quiet!

ANNA: Why?

MIKLE: I need to concentrate… Why did you become this kind of woman?

ANNA: What kind of woman?

MIKLE: A liar! Maybe your husband was very kind to you? Did he give you a lot of freedom? Did he just talk with friends and not pay much attention to you?

ANNA: No husband, no boyfriend… Only my dreams…

MIKLE: I don’t care. I don’t believe you…

ANNA: If you don’t believe me you can ask at the hospital.

MIKLE (car slows): That’s my house. Yellow, on the right……

(Mikle’ turns his head and looks right for a bit )

MIKLE: Nope! Her car is gone. She’s left…

(Both jerk forward as the car stops. Then they sink

back again as the car accelerates forward.)

MIKLE: She left early… I’ll take you to the hospital.

(They ride in silence for a long time. Finally )

MIKLE: Which entrance is yours?

ANNA: There on the left!…I’m embarrassed! I’m sorry Mikle!

(Car swerves. Anna falls enough to touch Mikle )

MIKLE: Thanks for keeping me awake (beat)….Here you are…

ANNA (as she gets out): Thanks for the ride…I rather enjoyed part of it…

(Pause)

MIKLE I (confidently): Anyhow… I’ll pick you up tomorrow!

THE END

 

UNEXPECTED PROBLEM

CAST:

MIKE – a man of 65 years old

BOB – a friend of Mike, 70 years old.

(Mike, very excited, rushes into Bob’s place. It’s a late evening. Mike has come to share his problem with his friend )

BOB: Mike, what’s up? What’s happened?

MIKE: I’ve have a problem.

BOB: Well, I’m all ears…

MIKE: What’re you drinking? Pour it out for me, please.

BOB: It’s whisky. With water or neat?

MIKE: Neat.

BOB: To our friendship. (They click glasses and drink). I’m listening, keep to the point.

MIKE: My wife refuses to sleep with me.

BOB: Big deal! It’s not a problem at our age. Sleep alone.

MIKE: This is not the point. She refuses to have sex with me.

BOB: She is your lawful wife. She has no right. Insist.

MIKE: But, if she doesn’t want… I can’t rape her.

BOB: How does she explain her refusal?

MIKE: She liked it once, but not now. What l do?

BOB: Well.. May be you’ve hurt her?

MIKE: There was nothing of this kind. We didn’t argue.

BOB: You could’ve said something insulting.

MIKE: I said nothing.

BOB: Nothing while having sex?

MIKE: I usually do this in silence.

BOB: And what about her?

MIKE: She usually says something, but I don’t listen.

BOB: You’ve to listen and say something in return.

MIKE: What do I have to say?

BOB: For instance: how you do like it, how you love her, what beautiful boobs she has.

MIKE: Who’s taught you?

BOB: My own experience.

MIKE: As far as I know, you got divorced from your wife five years ago.

BOB: But my chicks… You don’t take them into consideration… Well, did you try anything to do?

MIKE: What should I do?

BOB: To persuade, to talk her into it…

MIKE: I’ve already tried.

BOB: What was her reaction?

MIKE: No result.

BOB: You see women… They need emotions.

MIKE: What kind of emotions?

BOB: Jealousy. All kind of feelings… Well, you know what I’d do in your place? I’d say her: «OK…you refuse having sex with me, so don’t mind if I find another woman to have sex with».

MIKE: Do you mean to look for a woman in the street? I’m over that age for this.

BOB: Why in the street? Your neighbor in the apartment opposite yours will perfectly do… Did you see her figure? Boobs, hips, and the rest…

MIKE: She is not my kind. She’s prostitute

BOB: Why?

MIKE: All kind of men from the street visit her.

BOB: It’s wonderful

MIKE: It’s dangerous.

BOB: Let me see… (a pause) You know, every woman needs attention, gifts. Did you try to give her any presents?

MIKE: Once I gave her flowers… She threw them in my face and said that she knew what that besom was for.

BOB: You have to be more creative.

MIKE: How?

BOB: Remember your first encounter… The way you strove to win her…

MIKE: Everything happened without any efforts…

BOB: How did you meet?

MIKE: So well… I enter the cafe near my house. Take a seat… Notice a young girl in the corner. She looked very sad. I feel my first feeling for her – pity. Decided to get acquainted with her. Come up to her and ask: «Hi, where’d you get so tanned?» She isn’t tanned at all. She looks up at me: «Are you kidding?» I say: «Yes, I’m. kidding» I say. We got into conversation. I invited her to my place. Then we got marred.

BOB: When did you spent your honeymoon?

MIKE: We were young and decided to spend a week in the tent on the band of the lake…

BOB: I have another honey moon, not in the rent.

MIKE: Bob, do you have vodka?

BOB: Yes.

MIKE: Let’s have one. It’s clean my throat. (They drink vodka). What about you’d honey moon?

BOB: It was in Caribbean or somewhere else I’d hire a room in the hotel with a view of the sea and invited her to the restaurant in the evening. Imagine candles, red vine and the waves of the ocean behind the windows…

MIKE: But I have no money for this kind of vacation.

BOB: Borrow from somebody.

MIKE: How’d I give it back? I’m on a pension.

BOB: So, you’re on a pension, doing nothing, and Helena works hard all day long. Comes home tired and cooks a meal for you. I’d have not only had sex with you but I’d have divorced from you. How do help her?

MIKE: Keep order in the house. Sometimes do shopping…

BOB: Can you cook anything?

MIKE: I can fry potatoes.

BOB: So, do this. She comes from work, you meet her with fried potatoes, there’s a candle on the table, glasses with wine, fruits, napkins. The house’s cozy and nice. Don’t ever bother her in the evening. Let her think that you were waiting for her not for sex, but because you love her…

MIKE: Bob, I really love her.. And…

BOB: You love her? It’s a different matter. You have to show her your love…

MIKE: How?

BOB: You have to be patient for sex, and eventually you’ll be awarded. She’ll appreciate your efforts and come back to you.

MIKE: While I’ll be patient she’ll find somebody else…

BOB: Well… Please, explain to me how it all happens between you two?

MIKE: What happens?

BOB: I mean sex…

MIKE: As usual… Once in a week we go to bed, cover ourselves with blanket and…

BOB: I we’d details. How long does it last?

MIKE: Ten, fifteen minutes,,

BOB: Then?

MIKE: Then? I usually fall asleep… It works like sleeping peels.

BOB: Do you know that for a really valuable sex you need a prelude.

MIKE: What kind of prelude you’re talking about?

BOB: Say, in the beginning you’re supposed to kiss her lips, then behind her ear… whisper something affectionate. Then…

MIKE: It’s the first time in my life I hear about the prelude.

BOB: How long you’ve been married?

MIKE: It’ll be twenty five soon.

BOB: Oh my! Your silver wedding’s approaching, but you’re still arguing I mean, all twenty five years everything’s been OK…

MIKE: Yes, everything was OK… And suddenly (pause) What about you? How’d you meet your ex-wife?

BOB: When I first saw her in the street, I followed her… I got only one thought in my head, one desire…

MIKE: Sex?

BOB: She was carrying heavy bags. I helped her. Led hero her house. At the door of her apartment we got into conversation, became acquainted. Appointed a date in the cafe she didn’t come. In early lost my mind. Started making scenes.

MAKE: Namely?

BOB: There was a tree growing opposite her window… I climbed the tree, threw a bucket of flowers into her open window with the note that said: «I love you. Come to the cafe». In this way I opened my heart to her. Then I invited her to expensive restaurants, bought presents. This lasted about six months. We went on the vacation, and there, at nights, under the light of the moon and stars, all that happened, and I proposed to her.

MIKE: What about the honeymoon?

BOB: Sure, after the wedding we went away for two weeks and spent the honey moon in Tailand. I’d been dreaming about visiting it for a long time.

MIKE: Did Valentina also dream about it?

BOB: Don’t know. By the way, it didn’t matter by then.

MIKE: Why did you divorced from her eventually?

BOB: I understood that I’d make a mistake… Constant quarrels, jealousy… I got tired, I think, if she’d come to the cafe for the first time, I’d have never married her.

MIKE: Yelena and I’ve never quarreled. She informed me that she did not want to have sex with me quit calmly, without making any scenes. It was so unexpected.

BOB: You, pal, bored her with your dull sex. You don’t have any fantasy.

MIKE: Could you advise me what to do?

BOB: It’s very hard case… Women are very different. Some of them should be taken by power…

MIKE: How come taken by power? It doesn’t suit me…

BOB: I guessed she needs in jealousy… Did you have sex with other women but Yelena?

MIKE: No…

BOB: And did Helena have anybody but you?

MIKE: There was somebody. I met her on the next day after that guy left her. She had such lost and miserable expression on her face. May be she’s waited for him in the cafe and still hoping that he’d come back.

BOB: By the way, when did she tell you that she didn’t want to have sex with you?

MIKE: Two or three weeks ago. Does it matter?

BOB: Yes, A very hard case…What did you say to her after this?

MIKE: I didn’t say anything. I thought that it is a joke.

BOB: But now, when you know it’s not a joke… You probably need conflict…

MIKE: Why?

BOB: You need a real quarrel. It’s helps you to understand your problems. To put everything in its place after the quarrel.

MIKE: What kind of conflict?

BOB: You may bang the door, yell, threaten her that you’ll leave and never come. Make her cry, then apologize. Open your heart to her, kneel in front of her, and so on, and so on…

MIKE: I don’t like any quarrels. That’s not for me…

BOB: It’s up to you. (Pause) By the way. Forgot to tell you. I’ve recently seen Yelena in the street, she looked beautifully, young. I came up to her, helped her to carry heavy bags…

MIKE: What then?

BOB: She thanked me for help…

MIKE: And what’d you say?

BOB: Said, that the bags were heavy…

MIKE: And what’s she say?

BOB: Agreed… The. I asked her why her husband didn’t help her…

MIKE (nervously): And she?

BOB: Said: «He’s not a husband – he’s real pig… I don’t need such an pig».

MIKE: So… When did this happen?

BOB: Don’t remember exactly

MIKE: Approximately…

BOB: May be two or three weeks ago..

MIKE (runs quickly to the door): I’ll show her «»a pig»! She’ll answer for «the pig»!

BOB: Mike, stop! We haven’t yet solved your problem…

(Bob smiles rubbing his hands with satisfaction )

MIKE (runs back): Dare not speak to my wife again! If you come up to her one more, I’ll kill you!

(MIKE run away )

BOB: Good job, Bob! Now you can drink.

THE END

 

DECLARATION OF LOVE

CAST:

ANNA – a woman, about 40 years.

PETER – her husband, a man the same age.

PLACE: American apartment.

Scene.

Anna’s apartment. Piles of clothes on the floor.

Enter Peter.

PETER: Can I come in, Anna?

ANNA: Why didn’t you call, Peter?

PETER: It’s not a telephone conversation. Can I…

ANNA: Peter, you’re here, come in.

PETER: I’ve come to talk…you know what I mean.

ANNA: Come on in, and let’s talk… I’m spring cleaning. Careful!

PETER: Want me to take my shoes off?

ANNA: No. Men in socks looks silly. You walk around piles of clothes on the floor. Step on the rugs. Here, then over here, and here; now sit on the sofa. Relax.

Peter sits on the sofa.

PETER: I finally want… to talk about our devorce papers…

ANNA: I knew you will come today…

PETER: Why?

ANNA: I saw you in my dream last night… You go along the beach swinging your arms, and I steal along behind you, it was so funny…

PETER: So me at the beach, what’s funny?

ANNA: I’m not done. A friend of mine follows you swinging his arms just like you: he is mocking you…. And I follow both of you… can’t help laughing…. I hide when you look round. You seem to be looking for me and don’t pay any attention to my friend.

PETER: What’s his name… your friend?

ANNA: You didn’t seem to know him well. Maybe you have met him at our office parties.

PETER: So I know him!

ANNA: There were lots of people there: you didn’t pay much attention to him.

PETER: Why, is he inconspicuous?

ANNA: Inconspicuous to you perhaps, you were more interested in chatting up the ladies.

PETER: Describe him to me maybe I’ll remember him.

ANNA: He is taller than you; his eyes are blue, and his hair…

PETER: Where did you meet?

ANNA: At work… in the office.

PETER: You used to tell me about your work friends in detail. You probably told me about him.

ANNA: I might not have told you much about him…

PETER: Why?

ANNA: It’s not important now.

PETER: Yes, it’s important, since you brought him up. It is important! How well do you know him?

ANNA: None of your business. You decided to have a divorce, and we separated. Now you have your own life, and I – mine.

PETER: Do you think that I don’t still care? After fifteen years!

ANNA: Fifteen years six months and two weeks.

PETER: Anna!

ANNA: Anyway, I don’t see him any more.

PETER: When did you stop?

ANNA: I can’t remember…

PETER: Think… Real… Hard…

ANNA: About a half of year ago, after he quit our office.

PETER: So it is «out of sight, out of mind». And what kind of relationship did you have?

ANNA: What kind of relationship can be between man and woman? Need me to spell it out?

Pause

PETER: You cheated on me…

ANNA: Yes.

PETER: And you told me none of this?

ANNA: I didn’t want to.

PETER: You found somebody and kept on living with me as if nothing had happened!

ANNA: And while living with me you didn’t waste time too…

PETER: That’s why we’re going to divorce. Why didn’t you tell me about him?

ANNA: Peter, if I had made up my mind to divorce you, I would’ve told you everything.

PETER: Why didn’t you want to divorce me?… May be he didn’t want to marry you?

ANNA: When we fell for each other, he was married.

PETER: I suppose, he didn’t want to divorce his wife. How long did your relationship last?

ANNA: I don’t remember exactly… about two…

PETER: What a two-timer you really are! And still I wonder…did you stop seeing each other when he got a new job?

ANNA: At first we met often, but then… He had to drive across the whole city. You know the traffic jams…

PETER: Traffic jams! Was it just traffic jams you blame? Couldn’t you make up anything more interesting? Say, a plane crash: your lover dies falling down from a huge height, or you are attacked by thugs, he defends you but is stabbed in the back, bleeding badly…

ANNA: Peter, stop mocking!

PETER: Ha! Who is mocking who? Your lover moves to the other end of the city, and then – end of love! I would’ve understood you if it was a real passion… but I don’t know what to call this. Some nonsense! Stupidity! Because of this nonsense our whole relationship goes to hell?

ANNA: Our relationship? What did I get? Just humiliation. Did you really love me? Every party you ignored me and quickly found a woman and started flirting. What chance did I have? Just to be a wallflower?

PETER: Did you do all that in revenge? If yes, then that’s different.

ANNA: It doesn’t matter whether I did this in revenge or not…

Pause.

He was extraordinary, very considerate, loved me, used to bring me flowers…

PETER: Considerate: traffic jams and end of love! Don’t you feel ashamed to tell me, your husband, all this? After fifteen years together…

ANNA: Fifteen years six months and two weeks.

PETER: Anna!

Anna (comes close.): Peter!

Peter (pushes her away.): Give me his phone number.

ANNA: What for?

PETER: I want to meet him… and his wife.

ANNA: And why his wife?

PETER: I’ll compare her and you! Give me his phone number!

ANNA: I don’t have it.

PETER: That’s a lie, Anna. You’re lying!

ANNA: I don’t have it… not since we parted.

PETER: Then – his last name. Well, come on!

ANNA: I won’t.

PETER: Oh, I understand, it means that you didn’t have anybody and any relationship. You’ve made up the whole romance. Nobody hankered after you, just your sick imagination: love, infidelity, traffic jams – all this is a lie. Our whole life together was a mistake.

ANNA: Peter, but we had such fun together.

PETER: Fun? Me? Never! What’re you talking about? All our life together was a complete and utter torture for me.

ANNA: Our “grunge” costume party…

PETER: Ya, friends still mention it, but that was different.

ANNA: Why?

PETER: I’ve never loved you, not a moment!

Anna (slowly): Full moon… Lake George… when we slipped off the paddle boat… You like to sleep touching me…

PETER: (pause) It was long ago.

ANNA: Peter, why did you marry me?

PETER: Your pregnancy.

ANNA: But it was a mistake.

PETER: I decided that I was committed to marry you…Well, I’ve come to see you on business. I finally wanted to dot all the “i”s. Now I understand everything. You’re a liar and disgusting trash! I feel suffocated! I’m divorcing you. I’ll complete the divorce agreement myself. Good-bye!

Peter leaves. Anna runs after him.

ANNA: Peter, wait stop! I told you a lie!

PETER: (stops at the door). More lies?

ANNA: Listen, I had a love affair and it ended when he, my lover, died in a car crash. He was hurrying to be with me when…(Anna swallows hard.) passed a bus and hit another car…

Pause.

PETER: Passed a bus? Passed… When did it happen?

ANNA: Six months ago.

PETER: Six months… It was Michael! My best friend!

ANNA: Yes, Michael.

PETER: How did it happen?

ANNA: He was hurrying to see me…

PETER: I introduced you to Michael! I was proud for you to see what a wonderful friend I had.

ANNA: He was really a wonderful…

PETER: You’re going to say “a lover”? I can’t believe… it can’t be true. If there had been something between you, I certainly would have noticed it.

ANNA: You and Michael didn’t meet so often lately… He was afraid that you would suspect us.

PETER: I respected him so much: joyful, full of life, and so tragically… We’d been friends as kids: at school, at college…he had always rescued me… when we were about twelve; a dog jumped out and grabbed my leg… Michael found a stick and beat the dog away. I still have the scar; I can show it to you.

ANNA: I’ve seen your “dog bite” a lot of times…

PETER: We used to be close friends… Used to read each other well, so quick on the uptake… How come I didn’t notice anything?

ANNA: You were busy… You so persistently hung round his wife.

PETER: It was nothing serious… (angry silence.) Oh, and she must’ve noticed that there was something between you. Women – they notice everything. I’ll call her right now…

Grabs his cell phone.

ANNA: Stop it! Can you really call a woman who lost her husband just six months ago and ask her about her husband’s infidelity?

Peter silently closes his cell phone and throws it.

ANNA: Didn’t you have an affair with her? I thought that you were seeing each other, especially after his death.

PETER: How could he? I cannot believe… My best friend…

Silence while Peter stares with confused interest at Anna.

ANNA: Why are looking at me like that?

PETER: Anna, what did he see in you?

ANNA: Think…

PETER: I don’t… Tell me, please…

ANNA: He loved me… It was real passion…

PETER: Amazing! So unexpectedly. He was striking, brilliant, so able…

Pause.

What now…

ANNA: Peter, you’ve come to agree about our divorce. Let’s start.

PETER: Anna, wait, wait… let me see…

ANNA: Just a second. I will get the agreement you sent me.

PETER: Anna, I don’t know…

ANNA: Since you’ve come, let’s do it. We need to dot all the “i”s…

PETER: I need time…I have to understand… Maybe, I’ve changed my mind…

THE END

 

WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE US?

CAST:

BOB: 14-year-old boy

MA: Peter’s mother

A living room. Curtains drawn over a window. At rise BOB’S hand is poised and eyes are staring at the phone he expects to answer any second. Ma enters in a rush and grabs for the phone. Peter deftly deflects her hand and grabs the receiver him self.

MA: Why did you do that? I have to call Aunt Gail.

BOB: Call her later.

MA: I want to call her now.

BOB: Can’t you see? I’m expecting a call.

MA: Who?

BOB: Emma will call. We agreed to go to the movies.

MA: Why don’t you call her?

BOB: It’s the Sabbath. Her family can’t use the phone until “first star”, like around sunset time.

MA: Give me the phone. Gail and I can certainly finish talking before sunset!

BOB: No! Emma will call any minute from a pay phone.

(Ma upset, falls into the sofa )

Call later after Emma and I go… or call her on your cell phone…

MA: I have to pay to use the cell phone before nine o’clock.

BOB: Call after nine… What’s the hurry?

MA: Aunt Gail owed me $100. She gave it back to me yesterday, but when I counted it, $10 was missing. Maybe this was her installment idea, or a mistake.

BOB: Why doesn’t Emma call? I asked her a week ago and I reminded her again yesterday. She promised to call. I hope… I hope…

MA: Try calling her yourself.

BOB: I did. No one answered. Maybe she’s sick.

MA: If she’s sick she certainly should have called you.

BOB: Look at me Ma. What’s different?

(Ma peers at BOB )

MA: You shaved! Why?

BOB: Girls were teasing me “Fuzz Face”. What do you think?

MA: That was such nice soft fuzz on your cheeks. I loved to stroke it. Where did you get the razor?

BOB: Uncle Ted, Aunt Gale’s boyfriend. He has an electric shaver.

MA: So soon…

BOB: I told you I wanted to shave.

MA: I know you wanted to shave for your date… Did you use an after-shave lotion?

BOB: No. Should have?

MA: All your pimples are bright red… Next time we’ll at least put some rubbing alcohol on your face after shaving…

BOB: I saw… I’m so embarrassed… Ma why doesn’t Emma call? She should…

MA: I don’t know… Instead of doing your homework you are wasting time shaving too soon and mooning over a girl. Silliness…

BOB: It’s not silly. I just want to go to the movies with Emma… Practically all the boys in my class have girl friends… I have nothing to boast about and, they don’t talk to me…

MA: And they won’t until you do better in school… Good marks get respect…

BOB: Girls don’t care about boys’ marks! They like boys who risk and clown and have to stay after school.

MA: Emma?

BOB: She’s smart…

MA: Then why don’t you work harder? Talk to her about hard homework…

BOB: There’s nothing I’m interested in…

MA: Now the school psychiatrist wants me to go and talk with him. Are you arguing with your teachers again?

BOB: They tell stories and stupid lies.

MA: What lies? Tell the truth now!

BOB: Mr. Small my biology teacher said that he’s reading Solzhenizin’s book “Archipelago Gulag” and that if a man peed outside in the winter cold the hospital could operate on his frozen penis without anesthesia!

(Pause)

I raised my hand and said this was stupid.

MA: How do you know that it was not true?

BOB: I didn’t, but I asked Uncle Ted and he agreed that it didn’t sound right.

MA: I really don’t care whether it can happen… tell me better about your session yesterday with the psychiatrist.

BOB (bored): He wanted me to put the words on some little wooden blocks in alphabetic order.

MA: So?

BOB: I don’t know the last part of the alphabet, so I built a pyramid out of the blocks…

MA: I’ve got a son who doesn’t want to learn and I have to go to school!

… Have you started that report you have to hand in Tuesday?

BOB: No, but…

MA: Emma won’t call you!

BOB: Why?

MA: When I was a little girl I studied hard and liked boys who were good in school. And you are just a… You just have to learn…

BOB: All you say is study, study… you forget that now it’s spring…

(For change the theme ) Ma, tell me better how you met my father…

(Pause)

MA: That was a long time ago… in Russia… I don’t remember.

BOB: But I want to know something about my father…You loved him?

(Pause)

MA: Yes, I loved him…

BOB: Was he your first love?

MA: First, no! When I was in school there was the boy that I liked, all the girls liked him too…

(Pause)

BOB: Did he like you?

(Pause)

MA: No.

BOB: So nothing happened?

MA: Something…

BOB: What?

MA: I wrote him a letter saying how much I liked him… and he told everybody that he was my “Heart Throb”.

BOB: And then?

MA: The whole class laughed at me.

BOB: And you?

MA: I cried.

BOB (sympathizing): All saw you cry?

MA: I cried at home… But I went to school after that… And learned all my lessons…

BOB: What happened after that?

MA: I graduated that spring and went to work…

BOB: And? Where did you meet my father?

MA: We worked in the same place.

(Ma laughs to herself )

BOB: Why are you laughing?

MA: I just remembered how we met.

BOB: How?

MA: We all ate lunch in the same cafeteria. When I saw him the first time I thought, “He’s for me”, but he walked right by. He didn’t notice me. So I set out to try. I jumped in back of him in line. He put a bowl of soup on his tray. I quickly hit his tray with mine. His soup spilled all over his tray. He glanced at me and wanted to swear, but then I took the exact same soup as his. We sat at the same table and traded soups. That’s how our friendship started.

BOB (laughing admiringly): You were quick! And then?

MA: He asked me to a movie…

BOB: Afterwards?

MA: He asked me to walk in the park… We sat on a bench and kissed…

BOB: Then?

MA: After a couple of months I moved into his apartment.

BOB: Why?

MA: I was pregnant with you.

BOB: Why did you split up? I want to know why I don’t have a father now. What happened? He cheated you?

(Pause)

MA: Firstly he сheated you…

(Pause)

BOB: How?

MA: The cad had no interest in you and… me… You were born in a Maternity Hospital. All the fathers waited at a big window to see their babies. I waited with you in my arms all week, but he never came to see you… It turned out that he had met another woman!

BOB: What did you do?

MA: When I was let out of the hospital I went right home to my parents not to his apartment.

BOB: You saw him?

MA: Soon he got a job in another factory. I never saw him again…

(Pause)

BOB: Ma how did you live through it?

MA: You helped me…

BOB: How?

MA: You were always with me…

BOB: And what was happened then?

MA: And then… I grab you in my arms and went to America…

(Pause)

BOB: Ma, did my father ever give you flowers?

MA: Yes! I remember once we walked past a fence in front of beautiful lilacs. He climbed over the fence and pickled me a bouquet. Bowing, he gave them to me. I put them on my bedside table. Oh how wonderful the lilacs smelled.

BOB: That’s why you love lilacs?

(Pause )

MA: Probably… then…

BOB: Ma! Look out the window!

(Ma pulls back the curtains )

MA: Oh! What beautiful stars!

BOB: I was afraid so.

(Peter sits almost crying )

MA (sympathizing): BOB, call Emma and find out what happened…

(Peter dials and waits )

Peter: Hello! Hello Emma. Why didn’t you call me? We agreed to see “Spiderman” tonight…

(Peter listens. Then slowly puts the receiver down. He sadly sits down )

MA (sympathizing): What’d she say?

(Pause)

BOB (almost crying): She forgot…

MA (indignant): She forgot! When I was a little girl I never forgot to go to a movie…

(Looked at BOB )

BOB, I’m sorry!

BOB: Oh Ma! I feel hollow! Like there is nothing left in the world for me? Nothing seems real although you are acting like nothing happened.

(Pause)

MA: OK! Give me the phone I’ll call Aunt Gail.

(Pause)

BOB: Don’t call Aunt Gail.

MA: I still can’t use the phone?

BOB: Ma, I took $10 from you.

MA: How could you… after I gave you $30 for the movies and popcorn?

BOB: I’ll give you all the money back.

MA (angrily): You know what that’s called? Why did you take $10 more?

BOB: I wanted to buy Emma a bouquet of flowers on the way home from the movies…

(Pause)

Here… I don’t need it now.

(BOB hands 4 ten-dollar bills to Ma. She doesn’t take the money. With eyes full of tears she hugs BOB )

MA: Give me 10 dollars and the last money leave yourself… You would go to a movie with another girl…

BOB (teary): I would like to go with Emma…

MA: Don’t be so sad… There are a lot of girls around you… I believe you will find another…

(Pause)

BOB (very sadly): Ma, why does no one loves us?

(Pause)

MA (crying): BOB, I love you… We love each other… Come closer… I’m so happy that you are my son, that I have you…

(BOB hugs Ma. They are sitting close on the sofa. BOB switches on music. They quietly listen to music )

THE END

 

THINK WHAT EVER YOU WANT

CАST:

ANNA— wife. Middle aged Woman, brunet.

MIKe – husband. Middle aged man.

ELLEN— mistress. Young woman 20–30 year old petit, blonde (or black hair ref. pg).

Time current. 4 AM…

A simple doorframe and threshold stands between a garage door and a room with a couch.

Scene.

Enter drunk Mike from the door to garage, shoes in hand he is trying to sneak into the house silently, but his way is suddenly barred by Anna who, with legs apart, and each arm outstretched straight right and left from her sides forming a cross in front of the door frame.

ANNA (shouts): Stop right there! (Quieter) Where you have been? Its four o’clock.

MIKE (slurred, dully): Something sin-gu-lar-ly unusual happened.

ANNA: What unusual story now?

MIKE: Let me in.

ANNA: I repeat… what’s so unusual; I haven’t slept at all.

MIKE (with growing enthusiasm): Anna, you know…there was a tornado!

ANNA (admitting Mike): A tornado…here?

(Mike takes off his jacket, walks into the room and sits on the couch His jacket falls on the floor )

MIKE: A tornado can be a very small, whirlwind. (Waxing eloquent). It sucks you up, and up and it carries you to heaven knows where. It just lifts you, and doesn’t let you go…

ANNA: Ok, Ok… Mike, and where were you so blissfully carried?

(Pause)

MIKE (eagerly): I was lucky. I was in the car; the storm went right across in front of me… A tree fell across the road. I turned around and started to come home another way… But, I kept getting lost.

ANNA (mockingly): And how much time did you spend lost?

MIKE: A couple of hour’s maybe.

ANNA: Suppose then that you left work at eight, drove a half-hour, got in the storm, and were lost two hours. You would have been home long ago…

MIKE: But the tornado made a flood… (muddling his words). I was afraid. The car died… Finally the water went down and the car started.

Mike falls asleep

ANNA: What road? The only road that goes near a lake that I know of is in the Littleton area.

MIKE (sleepily): There…I…was… once in Littleton…

ANNA: (shaking Mike by the shoulders) What did you do there? How come you were in Littleton?

MIKE: Let me sleep… in three hours I have to be at work…(snores).

ANNA: Why were you in Littleton? I won’t let you sleep! Why were you there?

MIKE (eyes closed): Ah you… know? It’s the same… just… Oh, think what ever you want…

(Mike falls asleep. Anna covers Mike with a blanket, and picks up his jacket from the floor. A cell phone falls from the jacket pocket. Anna picks up the cell phone. She neatly lays the jacket on the sofa beside Mike. She then falls asleep, beside Mike with the phone in her hand… Pause, lights change… the phone rings. Anna awakens opens the phone and listens. Ellen’s voice is heard on the cell speakerphone. )

ELLEN: Mike, Mike, hello.

ANNA (into the phone): Hello…

ELLEN (non-paused): Who? Who is this?

(Pause)

ANNA(not very confidently ): Police…The Police…

ELLEN (shocked): Who?

ANNA: Police! We have just come to an accident… This phone was lying on the ground.

ELLEN: Accident? (Crest fallen) What happened?

ANNA: Toyota…red…hit a tree.

ELLEN (worried): Driver… The driver? How’s the driver?

ANNA: A man… slumped… window’s open…We’ll soon find out.

ELLEN (crying): He left me an hour ago. He promised to call when he got home. He had a couple of beers.

ANNA (gloating): He can’t call. He is motionless…

ELLEN: I’m really sort of to blame. He didn’t want to come. I really…

ANNA (very interested): Where didn’t he want to go?

ELLEN: To Littleton. Where is the accident?

ANNA: Half way between Acton and Littleton.

ELLEN (muttering to herself): Why did I make him come? I wanted a decision! (Suddenly stops crying). I’m getting in my car. I’ll be there in a minute.

ANNA (insistently): What decision?

ELLEN (suspects she is talking to MIKE ‘s wife. She suspiciously and slowly says): Divorce.

ANNA (changed tone of voice): What divorce?

ELLEN: I’ve been driving. I’m between Acton and Littleton. So far there is no accident.

ANNA: I ask you, what divorce?

ELLEN (she wants to keep Anna talking. Now a much more confidant tone): Listen! He has thought about a divorce for a long time. He hasn’t been able to decide, and then this evening he said, “Many can’t divorce their grandmothers, but I’ll try to night”. What do you say about that?

ANNA: What grandmother?

ELLEN: That’s what he calls… y… his wife…grandmother…

ANNA: Why?

ELLEN: She is older than him…

ANNA: You think so?

ELLEN: I know. He told me. She has terrible medical problems. She hurts and complains all the time. He is so funny when he mimics her, “Here I hurt… there I hurt.” She doesn’t have one organ that’s not in pain. She is so pathetic…

ANNA: OK! Why’s he talking to you about a divorce?

ELLEN (confidently trying to keep the conversation going): And not just this… There is no car accident on the whole road, none!

ANNA: What more did he tell you?

ELLEN: Lots…I don’t remember all… (Pause)… Hello, are you still there? Ah

… she doesn’t give him any slack. Every night she meets him at the door he has to report details of the whole day, where he was, what he did…he comes to me, discouraged…and has to lie down.

ANNA: What else does he say?

ELLEN: Oh, I remember… (Laughs). She has one leg shorter than the other… He showed me how she walks like, a lame duck. I die laughing…

ANNA (stifling tears): Why are you so…

ELLEN: I’m almost to your house, “Mrs. Mike”. I kept you talking so my new police GPS could show me the way.

ANNA: The door is locked!

ELLEN: Garage entrance…

(A young woman enters the room thru the same entrance MIKE did. She stands at the doorway looking at Anna. Anna shocked studies the sexy young woman. )

ELLEN: And… here I am! I knew it was you when you heard me say “decision”. So this is how you look! Completely different! I’m Ellen.

ANNA (confused): You look just as I thought…blond (or black hair), petite… Just the kind of woman he likes. I’m Anna…

(Ellen looks at the sleeping MIKE ).

ELLEN: I see he is OK. Why did you lie to me?

ANNA: I was so shocked when his phone rang. I just said the first thing I thought of.

ELLEN: Accident! I was completely beside myself.

ANNA: Me too. You should have heard how he lied to me when he came home. He talked about a tornado causing a flood in Littleton.

ELLEN: He didn’t say anything about a divorce?

ANNA: Not a word. Just tornado and flood rubbish.

(Pause)

ELLEN: Funny…

(Pause)

ANNA: Ellen, I’m sorry for you!

ELLEN: Why?

ANNA: You are so young, so naive; you don’t understand men. You should understand the man who you might to spend your life with. You are condemning yourself to a very hard life… I’d like to warn you about your fate. You are not yet married and already you are loosing sleep because of him. Now he loves you but on some new moon he will change as he became changed to me. He will talk to another of his loves about your short leg.

ELLEN: No way, I don’t limp.

ANNA: Neither do I! He promised to talk to me about a divorce?

ELLEN: Promised…

ANNA (shrugs): He said nothing…you can’t count on him.

ELLEN: I will change him!

ANNA: I tried, but no use. And now I see that you also can’t.

ELLEN: Why are you so confident?

ANNA: He didn’t keep his promises to call you, or to talk about a divorce.

ELLEN: He was drunk.

ANNA: Yah, he was drunk, but even so he told me a very inventive story about why he was so late… It’s easier to change yourself if you are going to live with Mike.

ELLEN: Stupidity!

ANNA: Stupidity! Think a minute… first you have a husband who is smart, funny, good job. You get married, and soon this same guy is off with a new mystery woman.

ELLEN: Mystery woman?

ANNA: It happens in a group of friends or at a party. He finds another woman, young or older, pretty or ugly it doesn’t matter! (Pause) He just needs a new mystery to court, talk up, dance, somewhere in a dark corner, to kiss. And he pays no attention to his wife…

ELLEN: And his wife?

ANNA: She is in a circle of friends, must smile, chat, and look like everything is normal, except for the stark white in her cheeks. When it’s time to go home, then he talks to her; he will just stay a little longer. The wife goes home. She can’t sleep. The house makes noises, she has never heard before.

ELLEN: And the husband?

ANNA: He comes home at four AM. Brought home by somebody else…

ELLEN (shouting): Why are you telling me all this?

ANNA: I’m asking you if you want to go thru everything that I go thru, with Mike?

(During conversation Anna has become more confidants but Ellen becomes more nervous ).

ELLEN: Of… Of course, not! But I don’t understand why you are still married to him.

ANNA: Because I believe that my husband will never divorce me.

ELLEN: Why? Why are you so sure?

ANNA: Simple! My husband has an addiction for women, and men like this are the most faithful in some ways.

ELLEN: He is faithful! After all you told me about him!

ANNA: Yes, this kind of man doesn’t easily leave his family… as long as they have a soft shoulder at home. It’s easier for them to leave a mistress. By the way, I’m very thankful to you…

ELLEN: Why?

ANNA: You gave me a good reminder of how I have to think of my relationship with MIKE. I see now that I’ll never be lonely… Not like you…

ELLEN: I’m not lonely… It’s you!

ANNA: No, Ellen, You can’t be MIKE’S wife…you won’t stand for his gallivanting.

ELLEN: Why are you tormenting me?

ANNA: It’s not me; it’s he who torments us.

ELLEN (shouting): Enough! I’m wild. I want to strangle with my own hands.

(Ellen goes to the couch where MIKE is sleeping ).

ANNA (shouting and pushing Ellen away): No! I won’t let you strangle him!

(Ellen pushed away very quickly disappears from the stage. Mike wakes up ).

MIKE (sleepily): Did you shout?

ANNA: She wanted to strangle you!

MIKE: She? Who?

ANNA: Your mistress… lover.

MIKE: What mistress?

ANNA: That one from Littleton.

MIKE: I don’t know anyone from Littleton.

ANNA: You promised her to divorce me.

(Pause).

MIKE (waking up, says vehemently): I haven’t promised anybody anything of the sort…

(Pause).

ANNA(Clearly relieved and pleased ): You’re saying I made this all up?

MIKE: Yes, in my worst dreams I couldn’t imagine… such fantasies you have. (Mike looks at his watch). God, just an hour before I have to go to work.

(MIKE yawns and goes back to sleep ).

ANNA: Sleep, Mike, sleep I’ll never disturb you…

THE END

 

FAREWELL

CAST:

ANNA: College girl, twenty three years old.

MIKE: College boy, same age.

Time: 1950’s

SCENE.

Anna’s sparsely furnished dorm room. College football banners and a Shakespeare, or similar classical poster, are on the wall. A basketball lies in a corner. Anna is rinsing clothes by hand in a small washtub on a stand. Anna answers a knock on the door to find MIKE there.

MIKE (with forced cheerfulness): Anne…I was going by… saw a light in your window…

(Pause )

ANNA (Surprised):…Uh… MIKE!… Come in.

MIKE: Uh… You are in the middle of laundry?…

ANNA (quiet voice): Washing some things. Have to do something. Can’t just sit…

MIKE (seeing the basket ball): My ball…still.

(He picks up the basket ball and starts bouncing it )

ANNA: Please, my head aches.

(MiKE puts the ball back on the floor )

MIKE: Did you listen to the game?… We lost. Back and forth all the way until they started getting baskets one after the other at the end… Why aren’t you using the washing machine?

ANNA: Too late. People complain… Why did you come?

MIKE: I have a lot to explain… (Pause) Do you know anything?

ANNA (sad): Julie called me this morning. She told me that you both had decided to get married… (Angry)…You never even mentioned her to me!

MIKE: Julie is pregnant and I’ve got to marry her… there is no way out. I just found out yesterday.

ANNA: How many months?

MIKE: She said two…

ANNA: Abortion?

MIKE: No… She is adamant… She won’t discuss it.

ANNA: This happened two months ago? Right after our party?

MIKE: Yes…

(Pause)

ANNA: The first time I ever invited Julie!

MIKE (agreeably): Yes, yes. It was your idea.

ANNA: You danced with her… all night!

MIKE: Out of politeness. She didn’t know any one… She obviously wanted to dance…such sad eyes.

ANNA: I wanted to dance too.

MIKE: You danced with Peter.

ANNA: I couldn’t dance with you.

MIKE: Julie stuck to me the whole time… I… I just couldn’t get away from her.

ANNA: You both left together!…

MIKE: You were busy talking to Peter…..We went to her apartment.

(Pause)

Julie made me feel like a man…and you…

ANNA (taking a deep breath): OK… OK… (Pause). I understand… and I don’t…. this is why you decided to marry her?

MIKE: Like I’ve said. I’m marrying Julie because of the child… our child

Julie is pregnant and I’m the father.

ANNA: Why didn’t one of you use protection?

MIKE: She assured me she was safe.

ANNA: You know she lied to you.

MIKE: So…

ANNA: And now you use condoms?

MIKE: Now… always. Always with me.

(Pause)

ANNA (angry): We’ve gone to every home game together!… You owed it to me to tell me that you were seeing Julie…. She never told me a thing.

MIKE: I guess…. I just didn’t have the words.

(Pause)

ANNA: Michael, looking back I don’t understand how all this happened.

MIKE: Me neither…

ANNA: Of course, in the back of my mind I was always afraid of getting pregnant.

MIKE: I began to feel that I didn’t turn you on. I was not attractive to you.

(Pause)

ANNA: I was afraid that I didn’t turn you on… but we got along so well anyhow!

(Pause)

MIKE: Well, now, there are the means to not worry about pregnancy.

ANNA: Condoms are not 100 % safe.

(Pause)

MIKE: Ah…Anna… were you ever thinking about us getting married?

ANNA: I dropped hints but I couldn’t let on…yes.

MIKE: I never suspected.

ANNA: You didn’t want to think about it! You always talked about different things, when you could have just said those magic words of love.

MIKE: Just “I love you”?

ANNA: Yes.

MIKE: I resolved to say them… but… Maybe saying them to my pillow every night made them harder to really say, harder to know when to say them.

(Pause)

ANNA (dreamily): MiKE, I think that this could have happened during that hot summer rain storm. Do you remember?…. The intimacy and excitement?

MIKE (Excited voice): Of course!… We were soaked thru and thru…nothing dry. You were sopping wet… you’re… bra…and… all.

ANNA: We laughed so…not knowing why…we felt good

MIKE: You wore a white dress with pink flowers…

ANNA: It was soaking wet. I took it off. We were still laughing while we twisted it from both ends. Like taffy… It started to tear somewhere.

MIKE: It was still very wet but we shook it out and you went and put it on with nothing under.

ANNA: You said that it was not proper to walk out of the park like that… it would be too provocative.

MIKE: The dress was completely transparent. Your tummy, belly button, breasts… and all the rest…

ANNA: You without pants… just wet underwear didn’t look so proper either.

MIKE: It made me excited…

ANNA: I was also excited by you… (With disappointment)… but nothing happened between us.

MIKE: You wanted…?

ANNA: Yes.

MIKE: Why didn’t you say something?

ANNA: What to say?

MIKE: That you also wanted….

ANNA: I tried. Remember I took your hand and pressed it to my hot cheek?

MIKE: I don’t remember… show me.

(Anna takes Mike’s palm and presses it on her cheek. )

MIKE: Pressing my hand to your cheek… shows… desire?

ANNA: What else should I have done?

MIKE: Press yourself against me.

ANNA: Why didn’t you hug me yourself?

(Pause)

MIKE: If you wanted to be woo-ed that rainy day you would of had to help me…it… it would have been my first time.

(Pause)

ANNA: Help you? How? As a man and a woman we have different roles: the man chases, the woman runs…

MIKE: Why is this important?

ANNA: I read…

MIKE: And you never learned that the woman could have an active part in sex?

ANNA: No! Never happens…except, in James Joyce’s memoirs. He said it happened on a bridge… an attractive woman walked by. Joyce called out to her. She walked right up to him, undid his pants and thrust her hands in… I just read it. I was so shocked…

MIKE: And Joyce?

ANNA: He was pleased…. He later married her.

MIKE: Look….

ANNA: MIKE, I’m sad that nothing more happened between us that day.

MIKE: Me too… I wasn’t persistent maybe… I was afraid…

ANNA: Why? You are a man! What were you afraid of?

MIKE: I didn’t know how to go about it… maybe if you had helped me that day, everything would have been different.

ANNA: Wait!

(Anna joyfully skips out to another room. She returns holding the thin white summer dress with pink flowers. She throws it into the washtub making it all wet. )

ANNA (starts to wring the dress out): MIKE, help me.

(Anna hands the other end of the dress to MiKEand they start to twist the dress dry )

ANNA: Careful it might tear.

(Anna holds the damp dress in front of her. )

MIKE: It’s the same dress!

ANNA: Should I put it on?

MIKE: Yes… yes…no… Not now… it’s…already late.

Anna (disappointed): Late? What do you mean?

Michael: It’s night.

ANNA: Why don’t you go then?

MIKE: I want…you want me to stay?

ANNA: The whole night?

(Pause)

MIKE: Look, I came to say I’m sorry. Anna, I came to say that tomorrow I go to Julie. We’ve decided to live together. The child needs…

ANNA (sadly): Really so sorry? Some things you don’t understand and never will. Like other peoples feelings… just as you never understood me.

MIKE: And how else should I say: “I’m sorry”?

ANNA: I don’t know… It is not a humane way, when a person is suddenly just abandoned…

MIKE: Anna, you are not abandoned. We’re such close friends.

ANNA (crying): Were!… We were close friends!

MIKE: And now?

ANNA: Now? I don’t know….

MIKE: No matter what, I want to stay your friend.

ANNA: Why?

MIKE: Anna I need you. I’m telling you about the baby before I’ve told anybody…you are the one closest to me…talking with you always quieted me…

ANNA (starts to cry): Don’t talk foolishness anymore! Go! Go! Stop upsetting me!

(Pause)

MIKE: I won’t go. I want to be with you. It’s my last night…our last chance… we must forgive in a humane way.

ANNA: I can’t stand the sight of you! (Pause) You want a humane way!

(Anna crying grabs the dress and beats MiKE with it. Mike manages to grab Anna’s arms. Then with his arms around her he presses against her and hugs her )

MIKE: Dear, dearest, cherished…calm…calm. Forgive me…maybe I’m lost… help me, I don’t understand, what I need. I don’t know who I need, what is happening to me? I just know that today we are together… like I want never to forget…calm down… nothing to say… press to me…tightly… there now… good girl… so wise… O God how long I’ve wanted you… you surely too? Say something… you…OK? You don’t want to talk… nod your head… and now kiss me…

(The dress slips off Anna’s arms. She hugs Michael, and presses him to her… kisses him. )

MIKE: Anna, I love you…

THE END

 

THE REHEARSAL

CAST:

MIKE: About 65 years old, good height, stature, natty, grey flecks in dark hair, sporty looking and handsome, in pressed slacks. He is an actor and likes from time to time to play different roles during dialog…

JULIE: Also 65. She’s pretty, neatly dressed in business like way.

Scene:

It’s summer’s heat. Mike is sweating and mopping his brow with a handkerchief. Mike carries a big bouquet of flowers as he knocks on an apartment door.

JULIE (shocked upon finding an x boyfriend standing there): Ah!…M.

MIKE: G’afternoon, Julie!

JULIE (still shocked): H… Hello… Mike!

(Pause)

What’s…going on?

MIKE (presents flowers with smile): Flowers for m’lady!… Can I come in?

JULIE (steps hesitatingly aside): I don’t remember such a big bouquet….ever….thank you!… Why did you come?… You want something!

MIKE: Yes… (Wipes brow) It’s hot out could you please get me a glass of water?

JULIE (disappearing into her kitchen): That I can do… for you…

(Meanwhile Mike walks around inspecting everything in the room particularly the pictures on the table. )

JULIE (returning): Your favorite glass…

MIKE (drinking the whole glass): Whew… Thanks…. Ok to sit?

(He moves to sofa and sits down )

JULIE (angry): I think, you still want the sofa!

MIKE: No, I don’t want the sofa any more.

JULIE:……..the Ocean painting your mother gave me?

MIKE: No…

(Mike looks around the room )

Every thing is as it was. Nothing has changed. Just like when I left.

JULIE: I can’t make myself change things yet…

(Pause )

MIKE: Julie, you haven’t forgotten our good times! Come to sit beside me here, on the sofa.

(Julie sits on the sofa, but not close to Mike )

JULIE:… Try to understand how insulted I feel… More than ten years together, and suddenly… All time I think, why you did up and leave… Now I guessed why…

MIKE: Oh? Why?

JULIE: As long as I had a good job and could support you, every thing was fine. Then when I retired we had to economize, and then you found a new sucker…

Mike: Sucker!… Oh.Julie….you are so…

(Mike stops short and decides not to reply )

JULIE: Remember? Remember how I loved you. How I cared for you when you were sick and depressed… after the “Evita” tour ended… Some times I had to force food in you with a spoon… Gave you black coffee in bed…

MIKE: The coffee was too weak…”economization!”

JULIE: Out on your own you must know how expensive coffee has gotten… I cooked what ever you asked for, baked potatoes, boiled potatoes, macaroni and cheese, cheese burgers…

MIKE (smiling); Ya, but your salads could never come up to restaurant level…, of course, you certainly did try.…

JULIE (offended): Can your Rita make a salad like Locke-Ober’s?

MIKE: Rita and I go out to restaurants a lot…

JULIE (sadly): We hardly ever ate out at fancy restaurants at the end…

MIKE: (peaceful): Julie, honestly you cook better than restaurants…

(Pause )

JULIE: You know what hurt me most, when we separated?

MIKE: What?

JULIE: The antique coffee table… You grabbed it from in front of the TV. And I never even fought for it…

MIKE: But, I bought it.

JULIE: With my money.

MIKE: No. I paid with my money.

JULIE: You bought this sofa with your money too?

MIKE: Why do you so begrudge me the coffee table?

JULIE: We sat here on this sofa, watched TV… ate at the table… and drank wine, talked… How I have dreamed… to sit together and talk peacefully… Like before…

MIKE: And I come to you in peace… (Joyful): Julie, better remember what good times we had too! Our cruise to Caribbean, the cast party on Fred’s boat! Beautiful sunrise! Sunset! We tangoed all night…I remember it so clear…

(Mike jumps from the sofa begins to tango. He bows and invites Julie to dance, but Julie waves her hands, refusing to dance. Mike sits on the sofa again closer to Julie )

May be you don’t believe me, but now I don’t want anything… I only need a bit of your help…

JULIE (suspiciously): Why are you so happy?

MIKE: I finally got a gig!

(Mike moves a tad closer to Julie )

JULIE: Who needs a 65 year old actor even if he has lots of awards?

MIKE: TV ads!

JULIE: You are kidding!

MIKE: Not at all… Remember, when I was younger I was in beer ads with Fred? Well. Fred is now a director and he found a good show for me…

(Julie looks doubtful ):…

MIKE (continuing): Such a handsome distinguished actor, as me, is in a soap opera! Soaps make a lot by using products that pay when products are used on the show. There’s a younger market to be cultivated, but some things older people use too…

Julia: Like?

MIKE: For instance, uggs, bling, pugs, fossil… Viagra!

JULIE (moving further away exclaims): Viagra! Mike, why Viagra?…

MIKE: I had no choice… Don’t forget, I’m older…I’m in good company. They’re getting older sports figures, and fighters… Well known people, to hawk Viagra in short ads, but I’m going to do a couple of Soap segments!

JULIE: Can I see it?

MIKE: Na. Not yet… Later…

JULIE: How can a Viagra script be long enough for a Soap segment?

MIKE: (low serious voice moves a bit closer to Julie) Well, there are four separate steps… First, we see the guy buying a special trademark casual shirt and slacks, there are laughs as he flirts with the sales girl to get in the mood… Then home, we see him using a branded hair preparation that dyes white hair dark and…then he shaves with a branded razor… then mouthwash and under arm… and so on, and so on.

JULIE: Ok! OK!… OK! Men are a good new market, I suppose.

MIKE: Ya! Then on the street… The guy buys a big bouquet of flowers… and walks along singing a jaunty tune. Like a hit from the sixties.…

(Mike sings something from the Beatles: “I need you, I need you, I need you…” and walks smartly around smiling. He then abruptly sits down but closer yet to Julie and continues gaily )….

MIKE: Next: we see him going to his girl friend, and giving her the flowers.… He chats and has to go to the bathroom. In her bathroom he looks in her medicine cabinet, lots of laughs here… and uses her tooth brush… lots of laughs… and picks out a branded tooth paste. He then takes her glass and fills it with water, and swallows the Viagra.

(Julie with suspicious look, moves quite far away )

JULIE: Uh…Huh… go on…

MIKE: Some more chatter… Then they sit on the sofa and watch TV…

JULIE: And then?

MIKE: He has to talk her up for awhile…

JULIE: I suppose we see the man jumping on the girl…

MIKE: No! No, not yet. Viagra takes 10 to 20 minutes to take effect…

JULIE: You actually put on a branded condom and have sex?

MIKE: Nah! We see only the guy putting one leg on the woman. The next scene shows him turning off the lights. And then the TV goes black…

(Pause )

End of the fourth segment!

JULIE: When do you start shooting this scene?

MIKE: Next week. I had some rehearsals, but I’ve never taken Viagra…

JULIE (with steely calm): How could you rehearse, if you never take Viagra?

MIKE: And you?

JULIE: Of course not! I’m a woman.

MIKE (more and more excited): Julia, women are trying Viagra too… For some it seems to work. For others not…

JULIE: I don’t need to take Viagra…

MIKE: But…sex is good for health both men and women…

JULIE: Now, I don’t need sex. I seem to have lost interest…

MIKE: Exactly!!! And you have to know Viagra improves social communication!

JULIE (ironically): Communication!!…

MIKE (blithely continues): Maybe you would like to try Viagra some time… I have an extra. You can try it.

(Mike holds out a pill. Julie, hesitates then curiously takes it )

JULIE (looking at the pill): You’re stark raving mad!

MIKE: Aren’t you interested in how Viagra acts on you? You’re not curious?

JULIE (handing pill back): No!… Curiosity killed the cat…

MIKE: (coaxing): Are you afraid? Take a half then…

JULIE (standing): No!… Never!

MIKE: Julie, don’t be rash!… I ask one last time…

(Mike suddenly stands and tries to hug Julie )

JULIE (picks up heavy bronze: table lamp and pushing him away with the bronze lamp at the ready): Away!

MIKE (joyfully): It’s already working! I’m starting to feel warm…

(He glances at his watch )

Just 10 minutes! It’s normal!

(Pause )

JULIE (angrily waving the lamp at Mike); Now, I know why you came to me! You want to rehearse with me and Viagra! Bastard!

MIKE: Julia, I feel sorry for you… You’re not right…

(Julie slaps Mike on the face. Mike pulls away )

JULIE (shouts throwing the flowers at Mike): Get out! Do your rehearsals with your bitch, Rita!

(MIKE stoops over to carefully pick up the flowers. Between picking up the flowers one by one he says )

MIKE: Sorry…….but…….. To tell you… The truth….Julie,

(Long pause )

with Rita……. I don’t need Viagra!

JULIE (waving the lamp, screeches): Get out you bastard! Get out!…

MIKE (sadly, like a tragic actor): Now I see, you’ll never guess, why we separated… All our relations could be different, if…

(Pause )

JULIE (excited): If? What if?

MIKE: If you were a little bit… a little bit curious… Good bye, Julie!

(Mike exits. Julie slumps down on the sofa, but jumps up )

JULIE (runs to the door and shouts): Mike! Mike! Wait… I changed my mind! Come back!

THE END

 

RUSSIAN MASTER CLASS

CAST:

OLGA LEONARDOVNA KNIPPER

CHEKHOVA (KNIPPER)– Chekhov’s wife 85 years old.

ANNA – student of the Moscow Theatrical studio.

Scene:

The year is 1954. A dressing room in the theater. Knipper is restlessly sitting in an armchair waiting for her “Master Class” student. She suddenly stands, goes to a nearby coat rack, and casually starts to inspect each coat. Finding one to her satisfaction she nostalgically tries it on. There is a knock at the door. She quickly lays the coat aside.

KNIPPER: Come in.

(Anna opens the door; she enters trying to appear confident )

ANNA: Olga Leonardova, I’m sorry… I’m late…

KNIPPER: (pausing to make Anna more uncomfortable): Good day Anna. What is the matter? You always have come right on time… but today… I know it’s snowing hard…

ANNA: I’m sorry… I couldn’t…

KNIPPER: Our tea is ready… Let us relax a bit!

(Olga gets a tray with tea pot, three teaspoons, two small plates, cups, saucers and a jar of jam….pours their tea… Anna settles down… they take jam and sip… their eyes meet: )

ANNA: Olga Leonardovna, I have good news! Our Theater School will do, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov’s “The Cherry Orchard” as our final exam.

KNIPPER: Grand! Have you auditioned for a part yet?

ANNA: The director, Vadim, asked me to play the heroine Ranevskaia.

KNIPPER: Ah!… Here’s your chance…

ANNA: You have played Ranevskaia so many times…

KNIPPER: Yes! I’ve played Ranevskaia my whole life… almost until I was 80 years old… Have you learned the part?

ANNA: Yes… by heart.

KNIPPER: That’s a start… Describe Ranevskaia,s character, please.

ANNA: She… is light headed.

KNIPPER: In your view… and?

A NNA: She loves… life.

KNIPPER: Maybe…

ANNA: Flighty and fickle…

KNIPPER: In what sense “fickle”?

ANNA: In sex… she is an elderly woman who wants everybody to love her.

KNIPPER: Just what age do you think she is?

ANNA: Fifty-five I suppose.

KNIPPER: My dear, this is “elderly”? I’m 85 and I still want everybody to swoon over me.

ANNA: I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you…

KNIPPER (offended): I’m not offended. Anton wrote me that Ranevskayia is not hard to play… You only need to smile in your soul and move graciously…(Pause) Here… put on this coat, and walk as Ranevskaia’s entrance… This is the grandest, most elegant female entrance of any Chekhov heroine…

(Anna slips into the coat, and walks )

KNIPPER (harshly): You walk like a chambermaid… Don’t turn your back. Chin up… higher. Move slowly with dignity… back straight.

(Anna walks smoothly, slower, erect, and with her head slightly turned pleasantly )

KNIPPER: You’re swimming? Be tense, like a horse before a race. Every vein bulging with just one desire…

ANNA: The desire to gallop?

KNIPPER: To arouse men!

ANNA: What men?

KNIPPER: All… and now smile, and throw your head back…

(Anna smiles and tries to walk as directed )

Now Scene 1,Act 1. Ranevskaya enters…

(Anna recites Ranevskaya’s words in Russian )

ANNA: Детская, милая моя, прекрасная комната… Я тут спала, когда была маленькой… И теперь я, как маленькая…

KNIPPER: No! No! Where have you been these past weeks in these lessons? Watch… Watch me… “The nursery, my dearest perfect place. I slept here when I was a child… (weeps)… alas, now I am like a child again.” Now… like Stanislavski says, feel the words…Please, in Russian language… Like in Chekhov’s play.

ANNA: Детская, милая моя…. детская моя милая… Прекрасная, милая…

(Pause )

Olga Leonardovna, I can’t….

KNIPPER: Anna! What’s the matter?… Your mind doesn’t seem to be here…

ANNA: Olga Leonardovna… I’ve just come from the doctor…

(Pause ) I am pregnant! I don’t know what to do…

KNIPPER: How far along are you?

ANNA: Two months…

KNIPPER: Anna, of course you have to decide for yourself… Two months gives some time yet…(Pause)

(Business like )… We will continue to work. Focus… Concentrate.

ANNA: Wait a second… I’ll try…

(Pause, Anna takes jam, a sip of tea, and collects herself, )

KNIPPER: Anna, a great actress has to have a strong character… I performed in any situation, despite sickness… through pain…

(Pause ) The moment I walked on the stage, I listened for the breathing in the hall. They followed my every movement… my expression… my smile…

ANNA: You were not just an accomplished actress, but also the wife of Chekhov. They envied you…

KNIPPER: Envied, because they couldn’t imagine how to be the wife of a famous writer and a leading actress too… Envied and hated…

ANNA: Hated?

KNIPPER: All Moscow followed the relationship between Chekhov and me… They thought I was a bad wife… My German Parentage was not a “plus”… They were jealous of their now famous “country Doctor” turned writer. Our romance existed largely in our letters between Moscow and Yalta… over 1000 miles… over 400 letters… I’ve kept them all…

ANNA: Tell me how you married Chekhov?…

KNIPPER: After our first meeting Chekhov invited me to spend some time in Yalta…. We parted with him tenderly, I cried… Our relations changed…

ANNA: Then you were married?

KNIPPER: Not right away… to be lovers is easier than to be married… Winning him turned out to be far harder than I had thought…

ANNA: You pushed him?

KNIPPER: My dear! And just how else do you think a woman can end up with a husband?

ANNA: I think that when a man puts a lot of effort into a relationship, he will highly value his woman.

KNIPPER: Did your director Vadim put much effort into seducing you? (Pause)

It’s clear… Vadim chose you to be the lead, Ranevskaia.

ANNA. Are you implying that actresses who get leading roles are the lovers of the directors?

KNIPPER: It’s in theater’s traditions…

ANNA: It’s rumored that you had a lover too? Stanislavski?

KNIPPER: Nemirovich…

ANNA: And Chekhov? He knew about… about this tradition?

KNIPPER: I believe knew. He wasn’t naïve about life.

ANNA: How did you convince him to marry you?

KNIPPER: Do you think it would be useful for you?

ANNA: May be…

KNIPPER: Anna, I will tell you my story… but it’s a long story… you have to be patient… sip some tea… (Pause)

Marriage became the only honorable thing for me! Our new theatre needs in own dramaturg and Nemirovich decided that it would be best if I married Chekhov…That, I thought I could do… I made many trips to Yalta. Then, after two years, I suddenly refused to go. I wrote him, “You have such a sensitive soul. You should understand why I can’t come any more.” After some to-ing and fro-ing, he finally proposed. (Pause) He knew that he needed me… and our theater!

ANNA: After your marriage you were happy?

KNIPPER: I didn’t know that greater problems had just begun…

ANNA: What kind problems?

KNIPPER: Different. You see Anton’s sister Masha was against our marriage, her mother too…

ANNA: Why do you suppose?

KNIPPER: I think they were afraid that Anton would go to Moscow, where his health would quickly become worse…

ANNA: Wasn’t Chekhov very jealous of you? I don’t understand.

KNIPPER: Our relations were very strange… I didn’t understand Anton either… Nobody could understand us… He once said: “A wife is like the moon. You appreciate her more when you don’t have to see her every night”…(Pause) Soon Anton wrote that he wanted a child.

ANNA: Not happy, to have a child with Chekhov?

KNIPPER: Dearie! It’s not so easy to get pregnant with him living in Yalta and me in Moscow…(Pause) But… I got pregnant!

ANNA: You became pregnant? But you don’t have any children…

KNIPPER: Oh, it’s another story…

ANNA: Please tell me… I’m very curious…

KNIPPER: It’s a long story too…

ANNA: Please go on..

KNIPPER: Anton and I didn’t see each other for about four months. It was winter. Nemirovich finally gave me permission to go to Yalta. Complete solitude for a week. Then… after a month back in Moscow I was on the operating table… (Pause)

I wrote Anton that I had a miscarriage. He didn’t believe me. Anton found out from the surgeon and that the embryo had not developed in my womb but in a fallopian tube. And– that I’d been at least eight weeks pregnant!

ANNA: Why didn’t you write Anton the truth?

KNIPPER: Why upset him? Eight weeks earlier I had been in Moscow! Not Yalta.

ANNA: Ah! Your quick trip in the middle of the theater season! (with indignation): I see you loved theater life more than you loved your famous husband…

(Anna upset throws off “Ranevckaia’s” coat, and starts to collect her belongings )

KNIPPER: Anna, what’s the matter?

ANNA: Why didn’t you tell Anton the truth about your pregnancy?

KNIPPER: I didn’t want to upset him… Both Anton and I wanted a child…

ANNA (accusingly): How could you?… Chekhov a great writer!

KNIPPER: I’m a great actress!

ANNA: I’d better go… I have to talk with Vadim…

KNIPPER: The lesson is not over!

ANNA: Vadim knows that I went to the doctor…

KNIPPER: You’ll have enough time to speak with Vadim… Sit down… Anna, I want you to practice just one final moment. It’s when Ranevskaya is leaving the estate;

АNNA: I better will read you another monologue.

KNIPPER: Good, I’m listen you.

(Пауза)

АNNA: «Я – чайка! Нет, не то… Помните, как подстрелили чайку?

Случайно пришел человек, увидел и от нечего делать

погубил. Сюжет для небольшого рассказа… Не то… О

чем я? Я говорю о сцене… Я – актриса! Теперь уж я не

такая… Я настоящая актриса, я играю с наслаждением,

с восторгом, пьянею на сцене и чувствую себя прекрасной»…

КНИППЕР: Excellent! Why did you chose this monologue?

АNNA: I’ m feeling like the heroine from this play.

KNIPPER: Excellent! Anna, listen, your idealism and naivety are out of place… You should know life deals a heavy hand, especially to an actress. (Gradually becoming inspired). Look at my spine…

ANNA: Straight…

KNIPPER: Exactly. I’m 85 years old. I’ve survived two revolutions, two world wars, a civil war, and Stalin…If you are serious about being an actress, be ready to sacrifice your private life…

(Pause)

ANNA: Did you really want children?

KNIPPER: We didn’t have time… He was only 44 when he died.

(Pause)

ANNA: What do you advise me?

KNIPPER: I didn’t finish my story… Sit down… Have tea…

(Anna sits… refuses tea )

Listen… Our theater was growing in stature, it helped the people to think about their own lives. It was an uncertain time… Time before revolution… But in spite of this people were standing in lines, the whole night in winter, to buy tickets for our theater…

ANNA: Olga Leonardovna, you were lucky to have taken part in the creation of the Moscow Art Theater… to have given people meaningful entertainment… but…

KNIPPER: Now times are uncertain too… and I hope theater can still help people to think and build their lives…

ANNA: You are happy… You lived in “Epoch Theater”, but now…

KNIPPER: Anna, somebody must continue our work. You are my best student, talented, serious… I visualize…

ANNA: Olga Leonardovna, after so much success, aren’t you lonely now?

KNIPPER (sadly): Our glory and camaraderie has passed…

ANNA: Just a minute… I don’t want to be lonely in my old age… I came here today thinking about whether I’d have an abortion or not… Now I have decided…

KNIPPER: Yes?

ANNA: I want to be not only an actress…

KNIPPER: The defining question: is art truly so important that it occupies your whole soul? Do you dream of being the best in the world?

ANNA: I want a real life…

KNIPPER: So be it!

ANNA: Thank you! Olga Leonardovna, may I go?…

KNIPPER: Now, you can go… Consider this my “Master Class”… My last “Master Class”.

ANNA: Goodbye, Olga Leonardovna!

KNIPPER: Farewell, Anna. Good luck!

(Anna begins very slowly to collect her things and then sits down and continues to listen Knipper )

KNIPPER: Once, when I asked Anton:” What is a real life?” He answered: “That is like asking: what is a carrot? A carrot is a carrot and nothing more”… It was strange, but the idea that Anton could soon die never came in my mind… (Pause) Why I didn’t asked him: «And what is death? Anton, what is death?(Pause) Anton died 44 years old.

When Anton died I came to him and looked at Anton’s beautiful face, his expression was calm now and seemed to be smiling as if he just understood something that still remains a mystery to me…

(Pause)

I didn’t know then, that Anton would become immortal… and… that I would not ever part from him… during my long, long life…

THE END

 

THE SAINTLY LIE

CAST:

MOTHER: Thirty-five years old

KATYA: Daughter, twelve years old

SCENES

: It’s night, by lamp light Katya is kneeling, bowing to the floor, and crossing herself. It’s the Soviet era. A picture of Stalin is on the wall. Mother enters quietly closing the door. She stands stock still, resigned, watching her daughter pray. Finally she strides up to her daughter.

MOTHER: Katya! Dear, Katya! What are you doing?

KATYA (frightened, jumping to her feet): I… I was looking for a crayon. It dropped on the floor.

MOTHER: Don’t lie to your mother. You were praying! I saw you crossing yourself!

KATYA: You yourself told me that I shouldn’t spy on people…

MOTHER: Enough! Who taught you to lie?

(Pause )

KATYA: Why shouldn’t I pray?

MOTHER (concerned): It’s very… very dangerous… and… you are still too young and carefree to know more. You wouldn’t understand yet.

KATYA: Mama, I understand more than you think.

MOTHER: What if a neighbor should see you bowing like I did?

KATYA: So what? I would say I was practicing for a play, crying…

MOTHER: Where did you learn to pray?

(Pause)

KATYA: Grandmother… She talked to me while we baked cookies. She talked to me about prayers, about sins.

MOTHER: What prayers do you say?

(Pause)

KATYA: “Our Father whom art in Heaven”… “Virgin Mary Mother of God…”

MOTHER: Does your friend Lucy know those words?

KATYA: I asked her once, but she said she had never heard them.

MOTHER: Why do you think she doesn’t know the words?

KATYA: I don’t know. Maybe because she has no… Grandmother and she doesn’t need to pray…

(Pause)

Lucy is not alone all the time… She has a brother. I am alone, and It’s dark out. I hear creaks and bumps. The house shakes. When I get afraid I say Grandmother’s prayers and cross myself. They make me feel better… I forget my fear.

MOTHER (resigned): I’m trying to change my shifts at the hospital, but I just have to work… There are so many things to buy and food…

KATYA: But I have to talk to somebody.

MOTHER: You… you talk to God?

KATYA: Yes…

MOTHER: What about?

KATYA: My sins… I ask his advice….. I tell him about my fear…

MOTHER: He answers you?

KATYA: Sometimes. It depends on his mood.

(Pause)

MOTHER (sighs and confidently): So! Katya, we have to live; we have to live in this society… Soon you must be a “Komsomol” member…

KATYA: I know. Every body has to be.

MOTHER: What will you say when they ask if you believe in God?

(Long pause. Katya silent. Her attitude, posture by director )

MOTHER: And if they find out or see that you do believe in God you know they will throw you out of “Komsomol”. They will make your life even harder… miserable for as long as you live… you will not be able to go to the university… no matter how many “A’s” you get… you will only be able to work as Lucy’s mother works…

KATYA: I don’t care… I’m not afraid of them, because God will stand by me.

(Long pause )

MOTHER (sadly, lovingly): Katya, your Grandfather thought that God would stand by him, but God didn’t…

KATYA: Mama, tell me about him…

MOTHER: Later…

KATYA: Why later? Now!

MOTHER: I’ve told you before. I was born in a little town named, Kaluga… My father was a teacher… There…

KATYA: It’s a lie! He was not a teacher! He was a priest!

MOTHER: He was a teacher!

KATYA: Grandmother told me the truth! You have never told me the truth! It is you, who taught me to lie!

MOTHER (angry): Insolent!

(Mother slaps the daughter on her cheek )

You are talking to me! Your mother!

KATYA (angry and horror stricken, cries): I hate you!

(Long pause )

MOTHER: Never say “I hate you!” again to anyone.

(Pause)

Words… all words… just words… are the most dangerous thing in our life… I’m your mother! You must show me respect even if you think I’m only telling you half truths.

(Pause)

You don’t know how my life was… What I have endured…

KATYA (crying, shouts): You hit me, but I told the truth… Your father was a priest…

MAMA (frightened): Katya, don’t speak so loudly… The neighbors could hear you…

(Pause)

All right… I’ll tell you some truth… May be you’ll understand how my life was… All my life I have been afraid that somebody would find out that I’m the daughter of a priest!

KATYA: Mama, what happened to Grandfather?

MOTHER: I was just about your age… It was dinner time… There was a knock on the door… Papa opened it. There were three big men. The leader said they had to talk to my father.…

KATYA: Who were they?

MOTHER: NKVD, KGB… Not important… They said that he would be back soon… He went away with them without even a jacket… I ran after him and gave him his jacket and piece of bread… He took the bread from my hands and… there in the middle of the street… he made the sign of the cross on me… Then turned to the men… I never saw him after that…

KATYA: Why did they take him?

MOTHER: He was a priest… Almost all priests were arrested not just my father…

KATYA: Mama, why were priests arrested?

MOTHER: Because Lenin said: “Religion is opium for the people”. It means that the priests deceived the people and they had to be punished… We found out later that all arrested priests were shot…

KATYA: Your father was shot!

MOTHER: No one ever knew anything exact…

KATYA Did you try to find out about him?

MOTHER: No… Not wise… We quickly moved away to Moscow…

KATYA: Why have you never told me?

(Pause)

MOTHER: I was afraid… You would tell somebody about my father…

(Pause)

If the KGB had ever found out that I was the daughter of a Priest, I would never have been able to go to the university, never would have been able to be a doctor, and never would have been able to support you and Grandmother… I’ve always been afraid for myself. Now I’m afraid for you… Can I trust you?

KATYA (slowly): Mama you can trust me… But, Mama, your identification book must have said that you were the daughter of a priest?

MOTHER: I burned my papers. I got a new identification book. I changed my origin and my past… With the new papers I could go to the university…

KATYA: I didn’t know about your identification… You didn’t tell Grandmother, that you burned it…

MOTHER: Of course not! I was afraid, that she would tell somebody… Now… you see why I’m afraid, and why I’m afraid for your future? Remember, our Grandfather was a teacher. Do you understand? He was a teacher…

KATYA: Yes!

MOTHER: Repeat!

KATYA: My Grandfather was a teacher…

MOTHER: Where was your Grandfather a teacher?

KATYA: I don’t know where he lived…

MOTHER: Good! And soon you will have to join the Komsomol. What will you say when they ask you if you believe in God?

KATYA (torn): I do not believe in God!

(Pause)

MOTHER: Correct…

KATYA: Mama, at school they teach us to honor Comrade Stalin who led us in the Great War against Germany. Should I also honor him who ordered my Grandfather shot?

MOTHER (holding Katya’s hand): You have to do what is expected… but always try to know yourself.

(Pause)

Now you see why we have to tell half truths?

KATYA: Yes, I have to… to survive… but Mama, what about God? Is it a sin to tell half truths?

MOTHER (hugging Katya): We call this telling… a “Saintly Lie.

THE END

 

THREE FRIENDS

CAST:

OLGA— Russian, middle-aged woman

MASHA – Russian, 50-aged woman

IRINA – Russian, 55-aged woman

Place: one-bedroom apartment in a town, like Brighton or Brooklyn in America.

Time: 1990’s

SCENE:

Room in a one-bedroom apartment occupied by three women who came to the U.S. from Russia illegally. Olga sleeps on the bed, her clothes are scattered all over the floor. Enter Masha, silently collects the clothing and throws it on the sleeping Olga.

OLGA: (wakes up and throws the clothes back onto the floor). Why did you throw these things on me? I’m a human being, and I’m tired. We’re in a free country. May I just be tired and have a nap? You know that I get up at 5 a.m. almost every day, and look, she throws clothes to wake me up.

MASHA: And who asks you to get up this early?

OLGA: Have you forgotten? I have to take a walk along the beach.

MASHA: Well, give up this vain pursuit. You’ll never find anybody.

OLGA: It’s not vain at all. A man on the beach has become familiar to me. He always sits on the same bench. I used to wave to him when I went by. But yesterday I took a seat on the same bench, next to him, and we had a talk.

MASHA: What were you talking about? Hi! Big waves today?

OLGA: No, not only. His mother was from Poland. He knows a few words in Polish: dzenkuyu, sginela, ne sginela. Yesterday he drew a house with a stick on the sand. But I couldn’t get whether he invited me to live in his house or not. It’s hard to flirt without knowing the language.

MASHA: And where’s your friend Irina? She promised to teach us English.

OLGA: She’ll probably come soon.

MASHA: Instead of teaching us, she talks on the phone all day long.

OLGA: She got acquainted with somebody and so she has to talk a lot. Has the right. She has to get married too to stay in America legally…

Masha takes the newspaper with ads.

MASHA: Just look where Irina has been looking for a husband. Here is the paper of ads.

OLGA: Just think! Now then, read a personal ad.

MASHA: Listen. “Man seeks a young “partner in crime”.

OLGA: What crime?

MASHA: Don’t you understand anything? He seeks the same sex President Clinton and Monica Lewinski had.

OLGA: Just think, so inventive! No, it doesn’t suit me. I love romance. Read something about sunsets…

MASHA: There’s really nothing about sunsets here. Though, here it is. “Like to walk on ocean beaches…”

OLGA: Well, come on, come on, what else does it say?

MASHA: No, this doesn’t suit you.

OLGA: Why?

MASHA: Here a man seeks another man… To hell with this paper.

Enter Irina and sinks into a chair.

IRINA. Good evening. Was there a phone call for me?

OLGA: None while I was here. Are you tired?

IRINA: Yes, I am. There are some clients who ask me to clean here and to clean there. They demand what I’m not supposed to do.

OLGA: Give up those who demand.

IRINA: And what I will send to my daughter in Moscow? Otherwise she won’t last long.

OLGA: And my son won’t last long either without my money.

MASHA: I have nobody to send money to.

OLGA: What about your husband? He is in Russia too.

MASHA: Things will settle one way or another.

IRINA: You told us that they don’t pay him anything at all.

OLGA: Masha, why don’t you want to help him?

MASHA: Because he isn’t worth it.

IRINA: Why?

MASHA: Didn’t I tell you?

IRINA: Please, tell us.

MASHA: When the “perestroika” started in our country, and they stopped paying salaries to us, some companies were founded to send people to America for babysitting. “Well, – I said to my husband, – I’d rather go to America than sit here and get nothing”.

OLGA: What did he say?

MASHA: ”Go,”– he says. Before leaving you have to pay a deposit to the company, the rest they take from your pay in America. The deposit is about three hundred dollars, plus you should collect money for the ticket. My husband and I started a small business of our own: we raised pigs and rabbits.

IRINA: Did your husband help you?

MASHA: Of course, he worked like a slave to send me to America.

OLGA: Then, why don’t you want to help him?

MASHA: Well, listen on. I myself did six jobs, and we scraped up those dollars. I flew to New York, that company met me, put me on a bus, gave three dollars in small change, a telephone number. They said that if nobody met me at the last stop I should give this number a call.

IRINA: Could you call in English?

MASHA: Of course, not.

OLGA: Yes, girls, all of us suffered when we came here.

MASHA: My employer had five children, one of them an infant in arms. Well, I worked for this family for a year, paid the company off and was going to go home. I called my husband once a month. Every time I called he said: “I miss you so badly, I miss you”… But then all of a sudden he said: “ May be you’ll work another year? Though I miss you badly…” And here I hear the small town telephone operator’s voice interfere in our conversation. The operator said: “Don’t believe him, he’s lying. No sooner you left than he brought a girl to your place the next day, and she has been living in your flat. She struts around the township in your clothes”. I froze like the Liberty Statue with the phone in my hand and hear him screaming: “Don’t believe, don’t believe her! She’ s angry because I refused to date her”.

IRINA: And what about you?

MASHA: I dead-dropped on the floor. Cried for two days and decided: I’ll find another husband.

OLGA: But they aren’t lying about.

MASHA: I called home to an old classmate. She told me that they were seen here they were seen there. She wears either my fur coat or my hat, not to mention my tights; she has probably worn them out. But I tell my friend on the phone what a great life I have over here, I traveled here, and I traveled there. And actually all my travels: were walking about downtown and back.

OLGA: Irina, this is the example we should follow.

IRINA: Yes, Masha – well done!

MASHA: Don’t interrupt me. They are having the “perestroika” in full swing, and didn’t get any salary. They ate all our pigs and rabbits; there was nothing to eat, nothing to do, and they started arguing. Then my ex-husband comes to my friend whom I call, and says, that he would like to speak to me, that he loves only me, and allegedly wants to come here to America.

OLGA: Wonderful, invite him here!

MASHA: Oh, no, let him suffer a bit; I stand firm.

OLGA: Look, while you’re standing firm, he’ll again pick up another mistress.

The telephone rings. Irina jumps and grabs the receiver.

IRINA. It’s for me. Hi, Jack! Fine!

She goes to the adjoining room to speak on the phone, first passing the phone to Masha, Masha starts to listen on the phone.

OLGA:(whispers. ) What are they speaking about?

MASHA: Greeting each other. She asks how old he is.

OLGA: She’s worried about his age.

MASHA: Now about his height. He is very tall and asks her how many centimeters are in one meter.

OLGA: Why?

MASHA: Because she told him her height in centimeters. He likes to walk.

OLGA: So does she.

MASHA: He likes music.

OLGA: How splendid!

MASHA: She is making a date for this weekend.

OLGA: That’s a good girl;” grab the bull by the horns”.

MASHA: He’s very busy.

OLGA: What are they speaking about?

MASHA: Wait. He asks how often she takes a shower.

OLGA: What does he need this for?

MASHA: How she dresses, when she goes to bed…

OLGA: Well, I never! And what now?

Heard from the other room Irina raising her voice on the phone.

MASHA: Keep silent.

OLGA: Why is she yelling? Why don’t you answer?

Masha hangs up the receiver. Enter Irina, excited and angry.

IRINA: What! Did you eavesdrop?

OLGA: No, no way. I don’t understand English anyhow.

IRINA: I didn’t finish my conversation because of you; he understood this, hung up the receiver.

OLGA: Why were you yelling?

IRINA: None of your business, I don’t know what to do. I was so eager to get to know him better…

MASHA: Leave it alone! He hung up because he understood that you’re against…

IRINA: Against what?

MASHA: Against sex.

IRINA: What sex?

MASHA: Sex on the phone.

OLGA: What is this?

MASHA: The phone sex is like this: when you speak on the phone, you’re having sex at the same time… Both pleasant and safe and excites the other person too.

OLGA: Girls, I hear this for the first time. As far as I know we didn’t have this kind of sex in Moscow…

MASHA: At home telephones can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Only big bosses had them and one – at the post-office.

OLGA: Well, I never! Just think what they’ve made up.

IRINA: He didn’t say anything about this. How can you prove this?

MASHA: He didn’t really say, but hinted at it. He said to you: Now I’m lying on the bed, I have taken a shower…

IRINA: Yes, I heard.

MASHA: Well, that’s it. What more proof do you need?

IRINA: And still it doesn’t mean anything.

MASHA: A friend here, knowing that I was looking for a husband warned me against telephone sex. Such things happen here.

IRINA: I can’t believe this.

MASHA: Why did you yell at him?

IRINA: He asked me what I wear at night, and then began explain me what he calls different places…

OLGA: What places?

IRINA: The body places for sex. I began yelling. And he said: Why are you yelling, I only want to help you.

MASHA: Well, what should I say?

OLGA: Girls, it turns out that in America each person has his own kind sex!

MASHA: Well, this is too much…

OLGA: We can’t play the game not knowing the language.

IRINA: He was probably my last opportunity…now I just don’t know what to do…

MASHA: But I’ve made up my mind. (Picks up the receiver.)

OLGA: To have sex on the telephone?

MASHA: Watch your mouth! I’ll order a telephone call and speak to my dear husband.

OLGA: What for?

MASHA: To know how he is…

IRINA: Do you want to forgive him?

MASHA: I’ve looked enough at our problems… If he is so eager to come here let him come.

OLGA: Tell him to bring your fur coat!

IRINA: And your hat, and tights…

MASHA (pause): No! I need nothing! Let him come by himself… And then we shall see.

THE END